It hurts. It really does.
It’s becoming harder and harder to stick to the plan. But I know I have to. I also know that I need help. I need some attention. I need them to realise that I’m suffering.
I can’t fake it anymore. I can’t hide what I’m feeling anymore. I need someone to notice.
I’m not good at talking and letting out what I feel. I just freeze whenever I have to divulge my feelings.
It fucking hurts. They just will never understand.
I know what I’ve been thinking is wrong. I’m contemplating an attempt in the next few days, or tonight even. I don’t want it to work. I know that sounds very sick and twisted and manipulative…
But I need this. It’s the only way they’ll realise just how much I’m hurting. Maybe they’ll stop being wrapped up in their own shit. Maybe they will finally realise just how much they are hurting me. Just maybe…
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2 comments
What about writing them a letter? For some people who feel they can’t talk about things, writing helps instead. Could you tell them that way?
Ylem31, sorry but the truth is don’t worry about “them” worry about you! and yes “it It hurts. It really does.” don’t feel like the lone ranger, that’s life deal with it, that’s apart of being alive, it can’t be a bowl of cherries, or you would be lobotomized. and who want’s that! 🙂