I discovered this site (thankfully) after a dear friend committed suicide. He was a godly man with a beautiful family and an extremely profitable business. I was looking for some kind of clarity and understanding. I have been throughout my life suicidal, but never acted on it; probably because I fear hell and at first, I had to spare my grandparents. Now, I do not wish for my 3 daughters to suffer.
I was prompted tonight to type this post, because my mom will be called upon this week to decide if Pop, my stepdad, should have all forms of sustenance withheld. He suffers from vascular dementia and has lost his mind, memory and control over his body. He is only 57.
I guess I share this because the pain for others is real. Life is a struggle & we must decide if we make someone else’s burden lighter or heavier.
4 comments
Thank you for sharing this. Especially that last paragraph. I like the way you write.
I work with dementia patients and have seen a lot in my years in this field. Your step dad is young still. I do not know the situation but it’s about quality of life. Does he still get joy out of life? Is he on medications? Is there a support system in place? Is he in end stages on hospice? Your family is faced with a very difficult situation indeed. Do what is best for him. If he is not able to eat anymore maybe it would be for the best but as I said, I do not know your whole situation. I hope you and your mother can find peace with whatever desicion is made.
I agree with the above post (i was typing a comment that was pretty much going to say the same, so… yeah). My grandfather is suffering from that too, he’s not completely “gone” yet, but i can see how he’s getting lost more and more over time. I remember a particular talk i had with him at one of his lucid moments, in which he said he was actually scared of what was happening to him, and i’ve wondered what i’d do in a similar situation to yours since then. Regarding that, all i can say is that whatever decision you end up making with your mother, do talk it over extensively, leaving nothing unspoken. It’s not an easy decision at all, and i do hope that you can come up with one that is the best for all of you.
Thank you for your input. My stepdad sleeps most days. He doesn’t recognize us. He has no mobility or core strength. I feel like he left us a long time ago.