God if i had a method I’d join the recently departed. Im just tired of fighting for nothing. The light at the end of the tunnel is broken. I know someone here recently gpt hit by a train and survived. I believe within the next 10 to 15 years suicide will be the number one cause of death. The world is to much mentally. Humans were literally less stressed when we were being chased by bears. Think about that. When life was more primitive. I cant find the TED talk that backs that up. They compared our cortisol levels to that of tribesmen who live more like they did in ancient times and it was staggering. This society, our trauma, our pain. Its unmanageable. Im going to attempt sleep. Unfortunately ill wake up. Sorry for the ramble.
Edit: I’ve began cutting myself. Im a bit rusty so im not doing the damage id like. If i can find something to hang myself with I’ll attempt. It wont work but its an off chance of death I hate being alive too much I’m tired of trying for nothing. Ive given 30 years to meaningless ness and loneliness this life isnt worth it can’t do it i cant do it im having a fucking breakdown. I should have just shot kyself i have no means to motivate myself to fight. I want to die.