Hey buddy, sorry to see your in a bad place right now. I know it can be hard to see your life fall apart as other build theirs, its a shitty feeling i know, ive watched all my friends surpass me, which is particularly annoying considering im easily the smartest, but i threw that talent and college away because i couldnt handle it any more, i broke and i felt my life crumble to pieces and i asked myself the exact questions ur asking right now. I think if there is a god then he pushes us so far because he knows our limits and is helping us realise just how strong we are, and the only way we can learn that is by pushing us to the brink, but trust me buddy, if there is a god, he wont let you over that edge. think of it like forging a sword, all the tempering in fire and beating and filing down of some peace of steel into a beautiful weapon. thats what is happening to you right now, and i know it hurts so fucking much, i know it hurts so deep that you dont think its ever going to get better, it hurts on levels we can barely comprehend, i understand mate, i really do and i wouldnt wish it on anyone, but right now, you are being forged into something, something great, and its one ***** of a journey, i dont know if you are familiar with aincient greek and roman ledgends but there is a ledgend that in order to gain his imortality Achillies had to travel into the underworld and step into the river stix, submerge himself fully in this burning river of fire and if he survived he became impervious to mortal damage on ever area but his achillies heel. this is your river of fire, and it hurts but if you can make it through your going to be so strong and your going to be a force of good in this world. it doesnt have to be saving the entire world like a super hero, but you will find your cause to champion and you will do good, because thats what your being forged for right now. on a side note, i know there are multiple accounts as to how he got his power but i always preferred that one. and i want you to know, when your standing on that edge and you cant hold on anymore you just reach out and we are going to catch you, this place is your saftey net, and we damn sure dont let our people go without a fight, so u step back or im coming over there, pulling you back, then kicking your ass! you arent in this alone mate, and as for everyone building their life? what got me over it is the fact i know im on my path, the one im meant to be on, i cant see the path but i know im on it and when its ready the way will become clear, until then ill just keep walking and building with whatever is around, my life wont be like my friends life but just because its different doesnt make it less interesting.
Peace & Love