15 hours left.
I didn’t sleep last night. I laid awake on a couch. I didn’t want to sleep. I was afraid to sleep. Now all I want to do is sleep as I get ready for that pointless test. I’ve realized. This is my last day on earth. Everything I do today is the last. From eating, to pretending like im going to be alive the next day. In about 2 hours I will be back to it. I might sleep for a while. I might stay up for the next 13 hours. I don’t know. I’m tired. I’m so tired. Not just in a sleeping way. I’m so tired in many ways. Im wasting my time going to take this test. But if I don’t, someone will know something is up. And I’ll end up in the hospital. Not today. That’s not on my agenda.
5 comments
Please stay. Even if nothing is going for you right now. I know that things were not going for me either a while ago also, but I stuck around because I had one person who needed me. And in this case I need you to stay. I’m that person that needs you now. Don’t leave. I’m here for you and if you need someone I’m here for you.
Hope u find peace either way I tried last night wound up in hospital on a drip
Praying for you, stay strong
@Beaubri Hey, I know what you are going through. I’ve just come through 2 years of that myself. I’m only 20 and I felt like my life was over “before it even began”. Well I still feel like that sometimes. Sometimes I feel terrified of being alone because I know I can’t trust myself. I know I’ll do it. I just want to let you know that you are not alone. I can’t tell you what to do, but I pray things change for you. It took a long time for me to see change in my life. You know, permanent change. Not bursts of joy and happiness, but true peace. The thing is, you’re going through it. We all have these obstacles you know? And the thing is we can’t go around it, or make it disappear. We have to go through. I’ll be the first to tell you it hurts like shit. It makes you want to cry, hide and even die. I’m trying to hold on. Talking to everyone on here helps a lot. You just have to keep going, it feels painful, it feels humiliating. I’m here to talk if you need to.
Hey Beaubri,
I’ve been reading your posts and I just want you to know that I am listening and I am routing for you. You have suffered so much and I don’t think any of us deserves the pain that we’ve been forced to endure. I hope you find peace, whether it’s in this life or after this life has mercifully ended.