I just found this site today and as a result, I have to skip my Day 40. I’m counting down, counting down to the day I might do it. I don’t know if I’ll get through with it because honestly at this point I’m kinda scared. Scared that I might not succeed and cause more burden to the people around me. Scared of how it’d feel like, the process of dying. There’s still that small part of me that hopes that everything will be okay again but that’s been overshadowed. Today seems to be better. Not brighter, just slightly better than yesterday but don’t be fooled by emotions. One day you’re fine, the next you’re not. I could still feel it forcing its way out. I’ve managed to stop it for awhile but I don’t know how long I can hold on. I feel like one nudge would just unlock it and it’ll spread like wild fire again
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
2 comments
I think it’s easy for the brain to focus on the negative and force out the positive, but it sounds like you still have a hold on the idea of a positive future. Keep that ideal in your head and strive towards it.
i experirnce the ups and downs. Sometimes things flatten out for a bit before restarting. If you want to talk about what’s going on, you’ll find that this is a supportive site, it can help when you release some of what you’ve been thinking about… and this site can help remind you that you aren’t alone.