It can be exhausting sometimes trying to please others. There is s lot of effort involved. How about yourself? Are you trying to make yourself happy, too?
I think that it is all about balance, Moneypenny. I’m sure you are referring to real life, aren’t you? I don’t think that those people who are taking you for granted are worth your time and efforts. Find someone who really, truly appreciates you and surround yourself with people who truly love and admire you. Best.
It’s because you know they’re just using you and taking you for granted. People who truly care about you will reciprocate or show their gratitude. One thing I learned about helping others is that they almost always forgot or never hold you in high regard. Only do things for others if it makes you feel better.
I have an ingrate of a close relative, I’ve saved her ass countless times, but she still badmouths me behind my back, she’s just a very miserable *****. However if I didn’t help her, she would probably be homeless or would’ve ended her life by now (but I’m pretty much done with her-we almost never speak). Anyways good luck in your situation.
The only times it doesn’t make me feel worthless is when it bubbles up spontaneously inside me, and I just want to be kind to someone.
E.g. the other day a homeless guy asked me if I could spare some change, so I opened up my wallet and only had a 100 DKK note (about $15). I was hesitant about giving away that much, because I’m not exactly loaded myself.
But he sort of egged me on, and I gave it to him, whereupon he said “thank you” and disappeared into the crowd.
That made me feel very empty, because I didn’t feel kind, I felt used. I should note that this guy was a Danish homeless person, and that Danes by default have access to quite a significant level of state benefits. Whatever.
Moneypenny, I don’t know if you’re referring to me, because you’ve been amazing to me, and I’ve been a bit of a dick in return.
I’m sorry. I hope (and believe) that you can find kinder people (who reciprocate more) to whom you can direct your kindness.
I wish I had something more useful to say to you, especially after the previous comments reciprocated much of my thoughts and feelings about the subject…
All I can say is that, things like pleasure, and love, and kindness, will drive you mad if it only goes in one direction (i.e you giving whatever you can and receiving none in return). It needs to be returned in some way shape or form to you (basically reciprocation, for lack of a better word).
I’m here anytime you wanna talk. Love you <3
6 comments
It can be exhausting sometimes trying to please others. There is s lot of effort involved. How about yourself? Are you trying to make yourself happy, too?
I think that it is all about balance, Moneypenny. I’m sure you are referring to real life, aren’t you? I don’t think that those people who are taking you for granted are worth your time and efforts. Find someone who really, truly appreciates you and surround yourself with people who truly love and admire you. Best.
I ask the same thing
It’s because you know they’re just using you and taking you for granted. People who truly care about you will reciprocate or show their gratitude. One thing I learned about helping others is that they almost always forgot or never hold you in high regard. Only do things for others if it makes you feel better.
I have an ingrate of a close relative, I’ve saved her ass countless times, but she still badmouths me behind my back, she’s just a very miserable *****. However if I didn’t help her, she would probably be homeless or would’ve ended her life by now (but I’m pretty much done with her-we almost never speak). Anyways good luck in your situation.
The only times it doesn’t make me feel worthless is when it bubbles up spontaneously inside me, and I just want to be kind to someone.
E.g. the other day a homeless guy asked me if I could spare some change, so I opened up my wallet and only had a 100 DKK note (about $15). I was hesitant about giving away that much, because I’m not exactly loaded myself.
But he sort of egged me on, and I gave it to him, whereupon he said “thank you” and disappeared into the crowd.
That made me feel very empty, because I didn’t feel kind, I felt used. I should note that this guy was a Danish homeless person, and that Danes by default have access to quite a significant level of state benefits. Whatever.
Moneypenny, I don’t know if you’re referring to me, because you’ve been amazing to me, and I’ve been a bit of a dick in return.
I’m sorry. I hope (and believe) that you can find kinder people (who reciprocate more) to whom you can direct your kindness.
Hugs
I wish I had something more useful to say to you, especially after the previous comments reciprocated much of my thoughts and feelings about the subject…
All I can say is that, things like pleasure, and love, and kindness, will drive you mad if it only goes in one direction (i.e you giving whatever you can and receiving none in return). It needs to be returned in some way shape or form to you (basically reciprocation, for lack of a better word).
I’m here anytime you wanna talk. Love you <3