The 37 Cent Goldfish Redemption

Fist things first. Since this is a tale of redemption it needs a soundtrack. What better than Cordless’s ode to HDS:

Now for the tale…

Last May I was at the pet store buying kibble or something related to cats when I found myself staring at the feeder tank. For those folks unfamiliar with feeders they are these little goldfish that are sold to feed to other fish. They are considered throw away fish. I stood there for fifteen minutes watching these little fish swim around, crowded, frantic. They didn’t know their own fate, they only knew the tank they resided in, and by association, the other fish that crowded their lives.

Fast forward an hour and I was standing at my kitchen counter pouring my new tiny feeder fish into a tiny 1 gallon tank. It was an old used tank I dug out from under the counter. The light was blown but the filter still worked and within ten minutes I had my new rescued companion settled into its new home. The family always enjoy having extra members to gawk at and for the next four months or so they intermittently discussed said fish, remarked on how it was so tiny and how nice it’s tiny tank on my kitchen counter was. On and off they argued about names, never really settling on a name everyone could agree on. Finally they struck on a compromise that said fish would have three names. That is a lot of name for one tiny golden feeder fish.

January rolled around and I found myself looking at my tiny fish friend. I thought to myself more than once what a fantastic companion. Still, keeping captive animals bothers me if they don’t have an enriched environment so I thought “welp tiny golden feeder fish who has three names, you haven’t died yet so let’s get you some better surroundings” so I set about enriching my tiny fish companions habitat. I replaced the lightbulb and purchased some live plants. The folks I live with decided it needed a friend so we purchased a tiny mystery snail to clean the tiny tank for the tiny fish. After a week I looked at the tiny fish tank and thought, “yes I have done some good in this world, this tiny fish, whose fate was to be some other fish’s meal, has a chance at a really good life”. The family got really involved putting the fish on a regimen of feedings three times daily and one member even trained the fish to do a begging dance of sorts in the morning in anticipation of a few flakes of food.

Fast forward three weeks ago. I hadn’t checked on my tiny friend a great deal, as the other folks I live with had taken over feeding, training and enriching this creature’s environment. This was when I realized that my tiny friend was approximately twice the size it was the previous October, or even the past January. The fish in fact seemed to have tripled in size in the past six weeks. In fact this fish was so big it needed a new tank.

So I found myself at Petsmart today, with a new tank in hand, this one a three and a half gallon tank. I also had some new aquatic plants for my not so tiny friend. And I thought, what was it that made this fish grow so much? Up until January it had all it really needed, fish wise that is. Light, food, water. But it remained tiny, in its little tiny tank. Then it dawned on me. The fish started becoming happy and was accepting the things it needed to grow. Companionship, sunlight and a purpose. A feeling of belonging to something more than its tiny fish world, that it was part of a greater world outside of its tiny fish tank.

I thought to myself what a fantastic metaphor for my life and the folks lives here at SP. Our tiny tank here at SP. Some chose to remain small little fish and are happy that way. Their needs are met and they exist in the tiny tank daily. For a few though, they start having things added. Maybe they didn’t ask for it, certainly my tiny friend was content enough to watch me from the safety of its little tank. Watch me daily as I cooked pasta or fried up bacon. But when things got added to its tank, good things, positive things like the light, the tiny mystery snail, some beautiful plants, it couldn’t help but grow. Sometimes we grow even if we don’t realize we are doing it.

So we at SP, we are the fish. We can chose to grow or not grow. Like my little fish we can remain content in our little bowl or take chances and trust that the people interacting with us in a positive manner may help us grow. We may grow so big we no longer remain in this little tank. But if we are lucky our nice owner will put us in a new tank with our little mystery snail friend for company. The tank is bigger for sure, and the light is nicer but we have our little snail friend and the family that interacts with us continues to smile at us as we watch them cook dinner or discuss what new plant to put in our tank.

Each of us at certain times in our lives were considered throwaway feeder fish. I don’t think any one of us doesn’t have a tale of being considered human trash or pointless meatsacks hogging up oxygen, even if the person accusing us of such crimes was only ourselves. But if we are lucky some random event takes us out of the feeder tank and allows us some breathing room to grow. We don’t grow immediately, growth takes time, but when we start trusting and learning to believe there are things outside our tank that are wonderful, it is then that we can start to believe we aren’t throwaway feeder fish residing in an overcrowded tank at Petsmart, but a much loved companion with a little mystery snail for company.

Love yourself, be kind to yourself.

HDS