The Accident

Most of you are probably gone now, and maybe it’s better that way, since I don’t know if this is a very good side of me.

I was in high school back in the 1980’s.
I was driving on one of the highways into town, and I was listening to a tape of Howard Jones’ “Little Bit Of Snow”.
The song is a plea against suicide. It begs people not to destroy themselves.

I remember listening to the song over and over, loving the poignant music but disagreeing with the message (because of how depressed I was).

There was a car which had stopped in the middle of the highway right in front of me, and I didn’t realize it had stopped. I saw the brake lights and thought it was just slowing down. So I started to pass it.

Because I didn’t realize it had completely stopped, I misjudged the distance.
I hit the corner of their bumper. It vaulted my car into the air. I rolled three times and landed upside down with the windows shattered.
This was before cars came with air bags.

I’d been wearing my seat belt, and was left hanging upside down.
I was in shock. I don’t remember when the song stopped playing.

I don’t exactly remember being helped out of the car (crawling through the driver’s side window, I think), and I don’t remember going to the hospital.

Somehow I had survived with nothing worse than bruised ribs and a few cuts from the glass.

I rarely think of it these days, except when I see footage of auto accidents where the car is mangled and upside-down.

On good days, I’m grateful I survived.
On bad days, I’m frustrated that I survived.

I am in a dark pit today.

Here is the song.