My mum found out about my relapse today, and has been demanding since this afternoon for me to tell her why I did it. No matter how many times I told her talking about it with her makes me uncomfortable and I literally can’t tell her, she’s still insistent I do.

So I’ve wrote it out in bullet points for her in the morning – and just for the heck of it I referred to myself in third person. It’s not really helpful, but it’s all she’s getting. I had to come home early from college today. I told my mum I probably would because I said this morning I was ill – due to the circumstances with my Nan, she didn’t complain.

It wasn’t because I was ill, I just can’t concentrate long enough to form a sentence to write down when I’m in college. It’s like the voices want me to fail and so deliberately make themselves worse. Or it could just be my imagination making me think it’s worse, when it’s really the same. I don’t know.

Bree has been constant today, again. It’s getting ridiculous now. No one is asking about her, when she’s clearly rude all day about quite a lot of my classmates. They’re all so ignorant – so is my family. She’s always at my house and does anyone speak to her? No. She says my mum or stepdad let her in, but after that they don’t talk to her. Great.

Speaking of family, everyone keeps bringing up the news from yesterday about my Nan which isn’t fun considering it’s entirely my fault and no one knows. I feel guilty enough as it is without everyone trying to comfort me when I get upset over it.