So this is the first time I’m going to talk about my feelings online. I’ve never done this because I feel people will judge me, but I can’t keep on keeping everything bottled up inside me.
Since I was little, I always knew I wanted to find mr Perfect and give him all the love I could give him. I did things in the past that I’m not proud of. I’m a different person now.
My father left me when I was little. He never had love for me. He wanted a son and then he got me.. He lefte and moved on to get something better. I’ve always searched for someone to truly love me.. I wanted to feel wanted.
I’ve found mr Perfect, but he judges me because of my past. He manipulates me and makes me feel more broken. Don’t be mistaken, he makes me happy when he doesn’t fight with me and tell me that I’m a slut. He says nobody will truly love me because of my past.
Everyone is leaving me and I have nobody left. I tried to kill myself a few times, but I never die. I wish I did. I wish I could end this pain. It feels as if something doesn’t want me to be happy. I feel I can’t be happy.
I feel like a mistake.. I feel nobody really cares if I live or die. I don’t even know why I’m telling this to people I don’t even know, but reading your posts makes me feel there are people that feel the way I feel.
I just wish my life was over.. I don’t want this pain anymore…