Well I did it. I made my parents cry again. This has been happening a lot recently. Tonight it was a math problem. I know, don’t say anything, I know. I was trying to complete a math ws, of course I didn’t understand any of it, so I go downstairs to ask for help. My dad begins to explain something in a way that I didn’t comprehend well, and I went off. Anxiety and depression took over, causing me to have a severe breakdown and run to the bathroom to cry. I’ve been in here for an hour now listening to my parents cry and talk about me. I just can’t stop hurting people, and it’s hurting myself. I’m not planning on suicide, because I know I would cause everyone too much of my unbearable pain; however, I don’t know how much longer I can sacrifice my own happiness in order to prolong it in others. :—
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Well.. I’ve felt that way the past 10 years. Sacrificing my happiness for others. It’s pretty virtuous when you think about it. Kind of noble. If you put your mind through the same stuff I hear some of us talk about on here yeah staying alive is pretty fuckin tough but we do it for the ones we love. Hopefully you stick with it and find something that makes ya happy kiddo