I’m starting to realize how much freaking effort it takes to start trying again, while still depressed and after having pretty much given up on life for a couple of months. My initial motivation was simply that I had nothing to lose, but that doesn’t really help me when I have to get up and commute to work despite feeling physically and mentally drained. It’s not as simple as having nothing to lose or taking it one day at a time. Eventually I will get tired and start asking myself “What’s the point,” and I don’t have a good answer. I still have no long-term goals. I still can’t regulate my emotions. I still don’t love anyone and doubt that I really want to. And I still really dislike myself.