Perhaps I’ve been suicidal since I was seven years old, which was ten years ago. I guess the bullying of my friends and peers were the start of it. I saw everyone having at least four friends as I played by myself, I was never the one that anyone thought was fun or cool. I was the freak with the buck teeth.
I was also diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome at that time. I often was in my imagination, being friends with imaginary friends until I was fourteen.
There was only one friend that I knew, and she went to a different school, but each summer, we would meet at a day care and have ideas about making movies and a television.
Over time however she left. As well as many other best friends who did as well. I felt so alone. What made things worse was my mother. She didn’t understand me at all. She would leave me when I’m crying, and stay in a hotel just to stay away from me.
I felt like a broken tool, a broken toy that was too expired to be repaired.
I have a boyfriend who loves me deeply, but I expect him to leave me too.
I honestly don’t expect this stupid stories to have any comments, or even read at all.
I’ve been kicked out of so many groups like this… Give me a reason to feel just a tad better by not blocking me.