I was at the bottom. Been depressed for 5 years, almost 6 now. Then I made the mistake pursuing a girl I found interesting despite how depressed I was, how unready I was to have one. She was my happiness for 4 months. She was the first love of my life. I know having one thing dependent on your happiness is bad, but I truly had nothing else that could of gave me happiness. I gave her everything. I treated her like she was a princess. But then all of a sudden, she just left me. Her love for me wasn’t the same, she changed. She hated how depressed I was, she hated where I was in life. She left me completely 2 weeks ago. To never say a word again. With a terrible explanation as to why. I sacrificed so many hours for her, gave her all my attention, love, care, everything she wanted, it was hers. The amount of happiness I got from her was incredible as it lasted.
But at the end, she just left me completely. She left me with a sorry I can’t be the one you need me to be. I was as bottom as can possibly be in life until I met her, she gave me hope and lifted me for the only 4 months we were together. But of course, life brought me back down again. Even further bottom, something I didn’t even know was possible. I don’t know if I am able to keep going now.
8 comments
If it didn’t last than she wasn’t the one. We don’t force people to stay with us. We let them decide. That’s that. Just let it go and move on. I had my heart broken once. Almost died. Don’t give up. Take care of yourself and keep moving forward. You will find the perfect match for you.
You are right, she wasn’t. It just pains me to know it would of probably worked out, if I wasn’t so depressed. Thank you for your support. I’ll try.
I’m very sorry that this happened to you. However, I’m glad that you see that you were unready. Jumping into a relationship, hoping that the other person can cure your depression is dangerous. The other person can help the load, but never cure it. That task is up to you. Also, for the other person it’s quite daunting to be faced with someone that, maybe just subconsciously, is hoping that they can cure their depression. This is compounded when the depression doesn’t go away, and then, understandably, the significant other gets frustrated. Anyway, cherish the four months you had together, and use those memories as motivation to try and beat, or at least control your depression.
Thank you for your words. Yeah, I wasn’t ready for it. And it costed me. I drained her with my depression. Problem is now I feel like now that I know how it feels I’m dying to get into one again. I need to stop myself though for as long as I can however.
No problem. Yip, stop yourself for as long as you can. And then when you’re ready, you can go meet the love of your life. Knowing full well that depression will not sabotage it.
I know this feeling. My relationships got ripped apart with my depression. But the good one is that she made you actually happy – then it cannot be that bad. I have the condition that girls love starts my depression which is super sick.
I think you can capitalize on this experience, because now you know how beautiful love between man and woman is. It just doesn’t work the way you did it. You have to be kind of ok and never drown into it. Never let the love to suck you up like this – unless you want to end it like Romeo/Juliet. When you can get better with girl, you can definitely do it without her with this motivation in mind and hopefully be more prepared. The world is full of girls and they will come randomly into your life.
That’s the main reason I prefer to make my happiness depend on something not as volatile as a human being, something like a place, a book, an idea.
I’m sorry this happened to you, but at least you’ve learned something. Based on this experience you can try to make things better next time.
You put your mind at further risk because the relationship was a dependent one. You needed her to feel happy which is normal unless someone likes to be alone but it only compiled your previous pain once it ended. Moving forward, maybe you can be better prepared to handle the next relationship good or bad. Just go in with no expectations so if it ends then no worries.