I’m sitting here trying to relax after a busy work day. Lots on my mind. I’m tired too and a little hungry, don’t have the energy to make anything to eat though. I’m really just tired. Tired physically and tired of dealing with crap everywhere I go. We have a big mandatory work meeting next week and I’m less than thrilled I’m going to have to spend an extra two hours at work that day. I really need a real vacation and have enough time saved up for it but don’t know what I would even do with the time. I know I should just take some time off regardless though. I work with people, caring for them and it’s definitely challenging. Every day is the same crap. I sometimes wish I worked in a factory because machines don’t talk back and act out. The job I do has been 12 years and I know if I left this job I wouldn’t do it anywhere else because I’m getting burnt out. I lost a few very special residents this year so far and I miss them every day. I have my crafty stuff I do, making jewelry and crochet and would love to make some sort of business out of it but everytime I try is never really pans out. My body is falling apart from all the lifting over the years and my mind is fryed from dealing with crazy people day in and day out. Not to mention in the next year or so my area is going to dramatically change because it’s all about greed and money not the people who are forgotten. I am really bitter over what’s going to happen to my little area. It’s just sad. I feel too much I guess and just am sad. I feel my general attitude slipping because moral in general among the other long term coworkers is slipping, management does not care. We were told to quit crying in so many words. I don’t know the point of this but Phantom and Cordless told me no post is invalid and to never feel bad for posting something and this is definitely something I would have normally typed out and deleted because I just thought it was stupid. Ok, done rambling.
8 comments
Nice ramble! life sucks, I care.
Your’s truly Rocketman. 🙂
Thanks Rocketman, I appreciate it.
Wintergirl
That was meant to make you laugh 🙂 yesterday i put up a post and nobody replied, so i took it down, i seen your lonely post with no reply and didn’t want you to go through what i went through!!! 🙂 yeah work is work it’s boring, dealing with all the newly hired kiss asses, and fucked up equipment, and bad attitudes. i’m a manager i don’t let that happen to my people.
Aww I would have commented if I had seen it. You always make me laugh Rocketman, thank you for that.
Hiya wintergirl..from the sounds of it u might be in aged care?? Not sure but i used to visit my gran every Wednesday. She had alzheimers. I went every week without fail and even told employers i couldnt work on those days cos i had important shit to do. I say all this cos i know how hard carers work. Be it aged care or not. The work u do is so amazing, & even if the families of ur patients dont say it,, i will. U rock!!! &im sure the people u care for would agree. It takes a special person to do this job, but u need to take of urself too. Care for urself if u will. Its hard i know, but if not u run the risk of burn out.
At my grans funeral last sept 3 of the caring staff from her home came. I meant the world to my family. That she had lovely people like u around her all day. Thank u for what u do.
Keep posting! !!
You are right, I work in that field and it is tough at times. I feel well rested today so hopefully my day goes smoothly. Thanks for your kind words.
I took care of my dad (RA and COPD) and stepmom (Alzheimer’s) for 11 months before they agreed to go into managed care. Running the household and caring for them broke me. Badly.
Last January Dad committed suicide by eating pain meds & starving to death three weeks into his care. My stepmom had a massive fatal heart attack just a few days ago.
Guilt, relief, shame, sadness, regret… I’m sure you know the drill.
I don’t know how you do it. The weight of the psychic armor required would crush me.
You humble me.
It’s hard. I sometimes feel like I care too much about my residents and hurt so badly for them, they yell and cry and get downright mean as hell, but they’re trapped in bodies that keep working while their minds are going. It’s heartbreaking to see. I know I need to take extra steps to take care of myself because this job I do is too much sometimes. SeeSmith, I’m sorry for your losses. I have lost many people over the years and it never, ever gets any easier.