Hi all.
Just remembered about this place in a melancholy moment.
I’m doing ok. Was very suicidal for a few hellish months a year and a half ago.
I’m not suicidal now. I think about self harm occasionally, but I manage it – I don’t act on it – I do something else, like arrange to see a friend. That used to sound stupid or unthinkably difficult, but I’ve done lots of training of myself to get to a place where I’ve got habits.
My life is not perfect and I did have a shitty start in some ways, but in others, my world is amazing and I’m incredibly lucky.
Being suicidal made me take time off work. Taking time off work helped me evaluate what was important, and living poor made me appreciate what I have when I’m less poor. I understand what hell means, so I can help others who are experiencing it – I make the effort, and I can empathise. Having a feel of what’s important is making my life better now. I don’t do stuff I don’t want to do.
I was looking for something just now… a place to express my heart tears. And look, I’ve ended up writing something balanced, and a sort of attempt to show you, suicidal reader, that life after hell is possible.
I have a job – a good one.
I have a boyfriend.
I have amazing friends.
I’m more articulate because I had to be, to express the pain.
I have a home.
I have loads of orgasms.
I do fun things.
I enjoy lots of things in my life.
My life is going in a good direction.
So, life after hell is possible, because I’m a breathing example.
Yeah I still get self harm-y. But I manage it. And maybe I won’t be self harm-y any more one day.
3 comments
That’s a really hopeful post. I hope after some time I will get my life back on track. Leave all that dark period in the past. Thanks for sharing and wish you keep going on that good direction.
I am glad that good things are going on in your life. You are right > there is life after Hellish circumstances….. Keep on keeping on and enjoy things while you can.
I used to have a hellish life too.. but things are going well for me now.
You are right!!!!
ENJOY
Life after hell sounds… orgasmic.. (hate myself ffs)
Seriously though, former members need to get back here and spread their valiant stories of hope and prosperous moments. I think sometimes hope that things can improve can be the vehicle of change that drives us into our next stage of our life.
People on this site do a lot for each other. They help carry each other through extremely trying times, but a person with a nearly fatal wound can only maintain that strength for a short period of time. People need answers here, they need direction, most of all they need hope, and for all of the strength we give each other sharing and venting we also enable each other in the worst of ways. This community could benefit by building a backbone of constructive support if we had members who stuck around after moving out of the gallows.
Sticking around doesn’t mean sitting in stagnation, or allowing others to hinder your progress. Sharing your woes, and sharing your successes can be constructive, and equally therapeutic. Helping others helps yourself, and so on; helping other people can yield a spiritual satisfaction of sorts.
Come on party people, give back to the community that saw you through the ugly times, it can be a release which is as selfishly gratifying as complaining was when you first arrived!!
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