PLEASE READ: I suppose it’s time to come clean. For the record, most of the war I’ve been fighting has been psychological. The psychological warfare I’ve been involved has been nothing but hell and it’s because of me.
I’ve been fighting alone for many years because I refuse to ask for help. Back when it was more evident that serious problems were occurring, I resorted to many methods to seize the very insanity that was about to occur.
My many failed attempts to end it have only resulted in more problems because I lashed out. I did this to end the war, but it never ended. I barely escaped that backfire and came across someone different, they are called lights. Lights are people who have a near perfect view of life.
I began to explain what was happening, but I ruined them with such stories. Hense to those who have been following my posts see that I refuse to speak about it again. The psychological aspect of the war I thought was over have taken their toll on me and my heart. I have become numb and am fading away because things that happened so long ago. This is by far the most useful weapon to use on an individual because of how easy it is to use. The sound of my silence are overwhelming and too much to endure any longer.
PEOPLE SHOULDN’T SUFFER THIS MUCH!!! I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!! I hate more than I love and I fear the very help I know I need because of what happened with the light. All I want is to hear her laughter one more time before I die. Is that too much to ask?