Do you ever just get the feeling of being SO incredibly happy for a split second, and then you hit reality hard and remember that you’re not allowed to be happy. Happiness just isn’t in the cards for you.
Well it happened to me, once again. I met someone… not really new… as was in grade school with him, but we reconnected, and hit it off. It’s the best feeling ever. Then he asked me out and I thought forsure this was my chance! This was the world correcting itself for all my misfortunes in the past. And then shortly after I realized, it’s probably not. I was so happy. So happy. Until my “friend” who I always thought would support me no matter what, suddenly just dropped reality onto me.
“You’re probably just a rebound. I wouldn’t get too excited. You shouldn’t get your hopes up,” she said.
And suddenly Earth burst into flames once again.
Have you ever realized that people want you to be happy, but never happier than them? Cause I do now.
3 comments
Yes, I get these types of situations. I have special moments in life where everything seems so good and happy and perfect.. but then when those moments pass. I have to get slapped with the reality of my life.. that I have painful disability that will be with me the rest of my life… and that the struggle to work and pay bills and deal with other bullshit aspects of life set it. I also am a relatively lonely guy…and feel alienated most of the time and that reality slaps me in the face after those brief moments of happiness subside.
I completely understand that. I try to look beyond all the bullshit that has happened to me. I try to stay positive. It’s so damn hard. Tell me why, someone who attempted suicide, wanted to end their life, and TRIED, deserves to be disowned by their entire family and thrown away like old trash.
I live for those split seconds of happiness. Maybe, just maybe it’ll last longer one time. I don’t want to miss out on that What If
Hi BW, you’ve brought up a great topic that I think about a lot. When happiness hits, should we go head first into it, or should we suppress our hopes in order to protect ourselves from possible downfall?
My answer is to fly head first and milk the happiness for all it’s worth. Squeeze every drop, exploit every second, laugh and smile as big as you can. Even if it ends in disaster tomorrow, you’ll be able to say you had a great feeling for a day.
I once took a survival course, you know, how to survive in the desert and all that. One of the questions was: if you’re dying of thirst and you find a canteen of water, how much should you drink? Some people might try to ration it, drinking only a few drops per day thinking that’ll enable them to last longer. But the correct answer (according to the instructor, and I tend to agree) is that you should drink as much as you need.
The idea is that a good satisfying gulp will give you strength to continue looking for food/shelter/rescue. Whereas, if you just take a few lousy drops, sure, it’ll last longer, but your strength will erode quicker, and you’ll be useless after a day.
For some of us, happiness is just like water in the desert. It’s hard to find, and we often go for long, miserable stretches without it, slowly losing strength and the will to keep searching. So I say gulp it. Drink it all in, and let the good feeling give you strength. Whether or not this guy is the one, rescue is on the way. Keep surviving til then 🙂