I needed to rant so here I am. I have social anxiety and it’s very hard to express myself. Whether it be in public or online. Up until two years ago, I didn’t even know what social anxiety was. When this girl online describe what she went through all her life, I thought to myself. That sounds like me. But my family and sisters call me weird. They don’t even think social anxiety is a real thing. They are very close-minded and like to label people. Plus, they think they are better than everyone. The sister closer in age to me is a spoiled as*h*le, but she’s nothing compared to my two older sisters. My oldest sister V, I have no words. Demon B*t*h straight from hell can’t even describe her. She talks about me like a dog because I’m not “normal”, plus she lets her friends talk about me. My second oldest sister M is the devils spawn. These are women well into their 30’s I might add, but back to M. She does the same thing, and all of this happens in front of me. Not only do I have social anxiety, I was raped and called ugly my whole life by family members and strangers. But I could have coped with that if my siblings would have stuck by me. I’ve never been pretty or normal enough to hang with them, and now I don’t even care because I found out Im dying. Not gonna go into details about that. Because it does not matter, at least my physical and mental anguish will be over. I’ve suffered all my life and I’m just tired. I know there are a lot of people with worse stories than mine. I met a few people in college with rough lives. I have no one. My mom sides with them all of the time. My brother and the sister that’s close to my age hate that my mom does that. Not because they want to defend me. Only because they want some kind of justice because my sisters are awful. That’s not even the worse of what they’ve done, but I know one thing if you try to defend yourself they plan a verbal attack and will call you every name in the book. Liars, backstabbers. Just awful people. They were like this as teenagers. That said, I wish I had someone who loves me beside me when I die. I’m afraid.
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Hi!
I suffer from social anxiety too. I just wanted to say that I can relate. Please don’t kill yourself. There is always light at the end of the tunnel.
Hi hope432, thank you for your kind words. I appreciate them. I’m not going to commit suicide, I’ve always been to afraid to do that. I found out I’m dying and I want someone who cares about me, with me when I pass. Even though I’ve only ever been tormented in life, I’m afraid to die.
So sorry you have a horrible life. I can relate. I have a shit life too.i have social phobia too among other illnesses and a shit family. i have a half sister that used to bully me because of social phobia.She won in the looks department and i didn’t. I haven;t seen her in several years thankgoodness, My mom likes to pretend I don’t have scial phobia which is not a surprise since she also likes to pretend shes not a goddamn drunk/.I only have my cat.I had 2 but one died from an illness last year and the other one this year. I’m pretty sure I’m cursed. So then i adopted another one.Now I wish I was dead even more now. Theres no light at the end of my tunnel. I really hope you are not alone when the end comes.
Hi deathyesplease, thank you for taking the time to leave a comment. Your comment really spoke to me. It was like reading about myself. Also I’m sorry you have a horrible life too. I wouldn’t wish this torment on anyone. My mom likes to pretend nothing is wrong with me as well. She listens to my sisters who say I’m weird and don’t know how to talk to people. It makes me so sick. It’s actually worse than dying, because I’m thinking, is she really going to pretend she hasn’t heard anything I’ve said all my life. I told her I was troubled in high school and in college. So much was happening to me, but my mom was life that’s life, and you should try to do this and your life will be better. She never listened or cared about what I was saying. My dog was my best friend. I loved my dog so much but he was hit by a car. That dog was everything. He didn’t belong to only me but when I was working I took care of him and took him to the vet. Plus I’m the only one who took care of him and spent a lot of time with him so he felt like my dog. I’m sorry to hear about your cat. It sucks when a pet dies because, you get close to them and have special memories with them. Thanks for being so understanding. It helps to know that people on here won’t judge me.
Thanks. I’m so sorry about your dog. It;s a nightmare losing animal friends. I still can’t believe my cats died within months of each other. I can’t sleep very much and i;m noticing hair loss. It;s nice not to be judged here unlike the real world . Most people are not open minded and kind.