Do you ever just suddenly switch from wanting to kill youself to killing the ones who make your life a living hell? Even if its just for a split second. Well thats me right now. I want to just grab my pills, grind them up, and make everybody a smoothie. Maybe knock them out and press a pillow to their face for a few minutes. Either way, there is just so much rage and while I usually end up taking it out inyself or burying it, right now I just want to end them. I know this is a site for people to go for support and understanding on their suicidal thoughts and tendencies, and thats what I generally use it for too. Its just that sometimes you just have to say “Fuck it,” and be pissed off. Y’know?
4 comments
As much as I hate to admit it I have had thoughts about hurting other people. I felt like I was being held back by others and one way I could be free other than killing myself was to kill others.
Of course I know I would never act on it but when I get really angry at some people the thoughts do come back. I do wonder how common this is and if other people have thoughts like this when they become angry.
Have you ever thought about writing your feelings out? Or typing them out? I’ve had some messed up thoughts from time to time (i.e I’ve written a scene about rape before, not something I’m exactly proud of) and I feel that it does help, even a little, to get those feelings off of your chest.
Best thing about writing it out is that you don’t even have to show anyone. I have plenty of stories that I’ve written or typed that no one but me has seen. Just keep it to yourself, or rip the thing to shreds and throw it away when you’re done.
I hope this suggestion helps.
Trey, the mindless gamer
Yup, that happens. Thinking it is a lot different than acting on it tho, so it’s not a big deal unless you do harm them… tbh tho, who wouldn’t have bad thoughts against the people that harmed them?
Very well written.. I loved it. This is exactly how I feel. Better strangle the ones who made us this way than ourselves.