How do you keep going when it seems there is nothing left to keep you going or even keep you up? Never in my life have I felt like ending it so often and it seems like I’m getting closer and closer to just giving in and doing what I used to think was impossible for me to do. Nothing has been going right in my life and I just can’t seem to get it back on track! My wife is ready to leave me and honestly anymore I don’t blame her. I constantly feel like life is just not worth it to live anymore and feel like I am just not meant to be happy or have a good life or a happy marriage. Where am I supposed to go when i don’t have the energy to even take another step forward and when I do I seem to constantly get knocked back 10 steps. It seems every single day anymore I am thinking about just ending it and making everyone’s life better so I can’t constantly drag them down. What is left when your dream family is about to split because of your stupid mistakes and inability to make things better. I’m always depressed and so freaking tired anymore. So what is the point of even trying when all it does is let you down and make things worse then they already are. Maybe this really is for the best. Maybe when I’m gone my family will do better without me like I’m sure they will and possibly my wife will find someone else better then I could ever be for her and my kids. I just can’t keep doing this to them anymore it’s not fair to them or anyone else.
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I feel the exact same. I’m on suicide watch right now. I just want to be left alone. I hate being asked if I’m ok and being an inconvenience. In so embarrassed. I’m in a constant battle with myself and I’m tired of fighting. People who have physical ailments get to have DNRs, pull the plug, why can’t I? It’s not fair that I have to sit here in so much pain “because it will hurt everyone that loves me.” Bull shit. I’m hurting everyone by being alive.
You need to be a believer. It sounds corny but I believe it to be true. You got to find something to believe in. It can be simple, I believe I’ll see the sun tomorrow. Or, I believe I’m a good person. Some find a religion helpful, I have after rediscovering my faith six months ago. It is easy to lose hope when you have nothing positive to believe in.