I don’t know what happened to me. I don’t know why all I can feel is cold and anger and sadness towards everyone, even those that I actually care about. Problem is, I don’t think the even care for me anymore.
I don’t think I have anyone who cares for me anymore. If everyone were to pick someone they’d hang out with, I’m no one’s first choice. I don’t even know if I’m still in the choices.
Funny, though. People think I have so many other friends to hang out with, when it truth, I’m alone. I’m always alone. Not that I’m here to beg for a companion, but sometimes it feels really bad. And lonely.
I can’t. I can’t force myself to be happy anymore. I can’t be talkative, I can barely even talk. I can’t tell you any more stories about my day or anything interesting that happened to me. And it’s not like I don’t want to. I can’t. Something in my head stops myself from doing what I want, telling me that no one really cares, so I should just shut up.
I can’t be the same person I was before. I don’t why. I just can’t take it anymore.
2 comments
I can relate to feeling alone. I have chosen to not have any friends because I just don’t feel safe but I can be in a room full of people and still feel alone. If only they knew… runs through my mind. Putting up the happiness facade is exhausting but it has to be done in order to somehow fit into this crazy world.
Have you ever had someone ask you, “So what did you do over the weekend?” and the only answer you could give was, “Uh, I slept a lot, I guess.”
Sometimes I just want to shriek, “TACOS!!!!”
I don’t know why.