It’s hard to describe.
I don’t want to commit suicide.
But I wish I didn’t exist.
It would be so peaceful to just fall asleep and never wake up, to let darkness become all that’s left of me.
I just don’t want to be the cause of my death.
It would be so wonderful just to be killed peacefully, not by myself. I just don’t want to exist. I want to seize being an alive human being, but I don’t want to do it myself.
If I do it myself, everyone will think it’s their fault.
5 comments
Yeah I’d love to just not exist anymore, I think about suicide every day but I don’t have it in me to actually pull the trigger, I would like to die in a plane crash or something, then my family would be set for life with money, I would die pretty fast and everything could move on without me.
It’s the dream of a lot of people here, but sadly it isn’t true.
You don’t want to make them think it was their fault? That’s interesting and noble.
I entirely understand this one. This is one of few posts that I can 100% empathize with. Keep on writing if it helps you, my friend. I’d love to give you more advice as if I was a wise sage, but I’m in the same kind of position you are in and therefore have right to suggest any kind of remedy to how you’re feeling.
I guess, just keep on existing. It’s pretty cool of you to not want anyone to feel guilty for your death, though I am well-aware that saying this honestly means nothing. Forgive me if this is presumptuous, but you’re probably so self-deprecating that you have come to the point of blaming yourself for everything. Well, whatever it is, or maybe it’s a culmination of things, you’re just the same as everyone else. If you bear all the blame, the entire human race bears all of the blame. We are all the same and people are not different and that’s kind of cool because it means everyone feels like shit just ad much as you do and we can all empathize with one another.
Or, maybe I’m entirely wrong and I have no idea. That’s a possibility, too. Well, keep on keeping on, I guess.
I feel the same…. fuck this, man. I give up trying to chase my dreams. Its so hard for some of us to cope with life and the sick world of depression. That drowning inside. That eternal darkness I see. That loneliness with no one to love me or ever experience emotion with. Its not everyday a near mathematical impossibility wants to be an impossibility once more.
Same. I have no great love for the idea of suicide. I don’t sit around and fantasize all day about the bloody or dramatic way I would do it, like what seems to fascinate some people. I don’t want to kill myself. I just want to not be here. Id like to close my eyes, fall asleep, and never have to come back.