Gotta love em, but they come in at the wrong times. Practicing my suicide note today, and they barged in asking how I was doing. “I’m doing fine I say” whilst trying to hide my suicide note to them behind my back.
They’ve been great, I’ve not got family I live with every day now, but they are still close. When I pop my clogs they’ll get over it though. In a few years I’ll just be someone who someone reminises about at family gatherings, and that’s fine with me. As long as I’m well gone by that time I’m happy to be a footnote. Very few people change history anyway, and even if they do they all end up in a coffin at the end of it anyway.
3 comments
If you do choose to go through with it, do you mind sending me the letter prior to the day of? Also are you unipolar, or what triggered your depression?
It’s a mixture of things, crushing recent bereavement which has got me hooked on booze, OCD, social phobia. suicidal thoughts with only brutal methods avaliable which ramps up the pressure. not sleeping either really. All this shit in my minds not healthy.
I;m trying to hold till what will be my first and deffo last attempt. Gonna happen soon I think, cause I cant take this shit much longer.
What’s kept you here all this time? Family, fear,friends? Most people are stronger than they give themselves credit for. You seem to have a lot on your plate to deal with and I am sorry you feel ready to give in,but something is keeping you going. Hang on to that…whatever it is…it’s worth it.