So Christmas is just around the corner . I have never had a bad Christmas ever . I always loved the morning and wondering what great things I may receive from my Misses or God Kids .Seeing there faces opening up the crappy gifts I got them . But this year is going to suck dick big time . All the glitter and lights already in the shops, People already wearing reindeer hats . I not only hate myself , I also now hate to see Any kind of “HAPPY” . I spent my Birthday alone this year for the first time ever and now I got this to look forward to . I am so pissed off right now .. – Also SEESMITH Thanks for noticing my fiery Thoughts on redandpurples post the other day . Age -a real kick in the balls . . I’m bitter as fuck . I’m the angriest person alive. (I think).. For me -You guys are IT for now . I started on some new meds and a new shrink -WHY ??- I got no idea .. I’ve been down this road before.. What a shit storm .. I think he may have me locked up in the rubber room soon though, as I tell him I talk to suicidal crazy chicken eating cats or cows or folks with train fetish’s .. Yes woody .. He told me he’s glad I’m talking to someone about things –As he scribbles on his note pad .. Ha Ha . I’m pretty pissed at life but I sort of hope I (we) all get through this fucking Xmas with all body parts working . This one – – Christmas 2016 is going to be my biggest hurdle ever in life .. 2016 has been my worst year ever on this planet . Please feel free to post lots more doom and gloom as that’s what I thrive on but I do Really, Really , enjoy a laugh or smile from you lot . Thanks for just being here when I need you all..
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I found it funny when you said, “For me -You guys are IT for now” because I had a moment like that. Last night I was with a bunch of friends … or should I say more like, “acquaintances” since I don’t care for them and none of them care about me. We hung out but no one hardly even talked to me much, the whole time all I heard about were their happy successful fun lives, they all had amazing plans for the future bragging about what they would or were doing. One was bragging about how a lawsuit he had going made him set for life. Meanwhile I was just sitting there waiting to get home to come here. I feel at home on this website, I feel like I’m accepted and not alone. I don’t feel the need to lie about my pathetic life just so people will not throw me away like unwanted trash. I don’t even think it’s possible to have real friends anymore, I was just watching them all last night acting like a bunch of idiots and I wondered what ever happened.
Yeah – I really can’t stand any conversation with people. I like the faceless people I have come to accept as friends …Weird right ? Could you imagine bringing ya mates over – log onto SP and say – Hey look I go 15 friends with depression problems a couple with bipolar I’m sure all with suicidal tendencies .. Want to come play with us for a few hours -?? They would think ya crazy right ? – Problem is I think they would be right . I think we are just a percentage of the world with a fucked up gene somewhere in our heads that humans just cant put there finger on yet . Like cancer I guess ? .. It is what it is .. I was one of those people acting like an idiot – Having a joke and a laugh . Maybe you were once too .. I just started falling apart so quick , It was hard on my friends I guess . Who knows ? At least your friend still have ya around .. You must hide it well .. I wear my heart on my sleave and told everybody how I felt one day – Now I’m like – Boy have one fucking melt down .. But that’s all it takes .. People right ..What ever happened ?
The only reason they still are my “friends” is the fact that I hide it. If I even for a moment started to talk about how I felt they would drop me and throw me away immediately.
The only reason they still are my “friends” is the fact that I hide it. If I even for a moment started to talk about how I felt they would drop me and throw me away immediately.
on the bright side:
getting locked up in the rubber room,
can be like one’s own bouncy castle
being a kid again jumping off the walls,
if just for 72 hours, until the door opens again and it’s another’s turn
but just like Disney Land, always open, and can visit another time should one feel like bouncing of the walls again 😀
Happy “old bearded fat guy with a reindeer fetish”-season!