I know its a horrible thing to always rely on someone or something, because one day I know I’m going to lose it. Like I am in an online relationship, I don’t know whether or not to think of online relationships, REAL Relationships. I mean like him and I have been together for 6 months now I believe, and we used to text each other basically everyday. At first, I had no interest in him because I thought he was going to be like every man-whore that texted me. But after 2 months I started to really like him. Then something had happened where my phone was taken because of illegal shit, but with that I had lost all connection from him. One day I had gotten my hands on something that I ended up finding him. He had thought I broke up with him. So he had pretty much been hurt (as he told me which i don’t believe) but I told him the situation. He said it was okay, and we went back to normal, talking everyday, I have to message him on my school computer because I still don’t have my phone (in which is kinda illegal if my parents or my school find out). But since we talked everyday, I felt like someone actually cares for me. But I had messaged him this morning and he hasn’t answered all day, and with my depression and anxiety, I have been thinking of things he must be doing while we are “dating”. I always think he is cheating on me with someone else, or that he doesn’t take me and our relationship as real, and when he tells me what happens I always take that as his excuse for something better than being with me. Like right now, I just took some pills to try and forget about him for a little while. I love the sensation of being all jittery. It’s just later on I’m probably not going to remember what I did after taking it.
7 comments
You should let go of toxic people and not fill yourself with more toxic stuff , forgetting about him won’t make it unreal but at least you will be able to deal with his crap. I hope you get well soon.
Hey there, I’m Gabe. Uh.. I’m not sure to fully understand how you two started this romantic relationship. Did you ever met him in person before or during the relationship? Have you ever seen him, like on a picture or something like that? And if you did, are you sure the person you have seen, is him?
Because it’s necessary for two people to see each other before engaging into any romantic relationship. I know it might sound a bit rude to some people but believe me, for any online romantic relationships to ever get a chance to evolve into something much more concrete and last, you need to see each other atleast once. Now, I would not recommend you give him your personal information until you are certain about the ingenuity of the information about himself he has provided to you, and most important not until you attain your majority, especially if he is way older than you.
Because if he is much more older than you are, he might be taking advantages of you, at some point he might ask you for things that you wouldn’t really feel comfortable doing. So, I’m a bit concerned about your safety. Do you mind telling me more about this relationship? Don’t feel obliged to further the description of your relationship if you feel it’s not of my concern. It’s just that I can’t feel rested I keep thinking about the possibility that you might be in danger. I believe it might be even worst for your parents. So please be careful. Have a nice day! 😀
no i havent seen him in person, though i want to. i have seen pictures of him and i am pretty sure it is him. I have been wanting to video chat with him for a while but he kind of keeps on throwing it to the side, and that makes me think he is fake sometimes. And yes I know there are people catfishing others when it comes to online relationships. I have given him some information about myself, which I know is bad but it was kind of a while ago. And he is 2 years older than me, when we first met he told me he was only one year older than me and then now he is telling me a different age, which kind of messed with me. And I was planning on telling my parents, but after he told me he is 2 years older than me, I can’t really tell them because then i am repeating the same incident that i had in August, where my phone was taken because i was talking to guys older than me. And so now I dont really know what to do with him.
Must say like Gabe I’m a bit uneasy too
Though I do know online “relationship” can be real good, and feel wonderful, having partaken, and even preferred so myself
But, just texting is far from good ideal and safe, while it doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong is going on, it definitely doesn’t help, even less with the “paranoia and jealousy”
when physical/direct contact is impossible, at the very least voice calls, and time “face to face”/video chat should be felt as “mandatory” in the relationship, for there to be a relationship. Skype, Facetime, Duo, something. Not only does it help alleviate some of the risk, but it also helps the “relationship”, at least allows it to maybe become an actual relationship.
Anonymity/distance might feel comfy and “safer” than personal contact, but just always keep in mind there are actual risks involved in online relationships. Even more the more distant, like if only texting.
Be smart, be safe, be strong
and don’t forget to get some direct personal human contact too
Like i wrote in the comment above, I have been wanting to video chat with him but the last time i asked he said that he felt sick and didnt want to. This made me think that he is a catfish, and has been lying to me the whole and i dont know what to do, because I have relied on him to cheer me up, even though i know its not healthy but i feel like i dont even know him :'(
Sorry for the extremely late reply, I have been having health issues lately and I had to take care of it. And also, I kinda forgot about this website until I read my personal emails. : P
Anyway, what you are describing in your comment, feels like a catfish. But it’s not necessarily a creepy one. It might be a person who feels insecure about themselves, you know it could be something about their physique, voice, elocution, social status, social presence, or other stuff, that is not normal or they feel is not normal, those are two different things but it still produces the same feeling of self disgust which results in a lack of confidence. Girls are the ones who tend to have this complex alot, but guys who have this problem tend to have it harder. Although, people can grow out of it overtime, it usually requires some external support.
Basically, what I’m trying to say here is that, he may really be 2-3 years older than you, he could be real or there’s a bit of reality in whatever he told you, but the fact that he does not want to show himself to you or even talk over a call, tell us that he is either insecure about something about himself or that he is just a creepy catfish.
What I would recommend you trying, is to use some kind of ultimatum, I know it could be hurtful, but for your safety and possibly him to move out this emotional prison(if he is not an old creepy dude/chick), you have to do it. Ask him to send you some pictures of him, old ones and recent ones. And a video of him talking to you if he does not feel comfortable talking directly to you. Try to make him understand that physique is not that important to you(if you mean it), tell him you just want to see him because you want to put a face on the person you like/love. And if he refuses. Then honestly, you should put an end to this relationship because he’s probably some creepy old dude or chick.
That will be it for today, stay safe, keep us informed.
Sorry for the extremely late reply, I have been having health issues lately and I had to take care of it. And also, I kinda forgot about this website until I read my personal emails. : P
Anyway, what you are describing in your comment, feels like a catfish. But it’s not necessarily a creepy one. It might be a person who feels insecure about themselves, you know it could be something about their physique, voice, elocution, social status, social presence, or other stuff, that is not normal or they feel is not normal, those are two different things but it still produces the same feeling of self disgust which results in a lack of confidence. Girls are the ones who tend to have this complex alot, but guys who have this problem tend to have it harder. Although, people can grow out of it overtime, it usually requires some external support.
Basically, what I’m trying to say here is that, he may really be 2-3 years older than you, he could be real or there’s a bit of reality in whatever he told you, but the fact that he does not want to show himself to you or even talk over a call, tell us that he is either insecure about something about himself or that he is just a creepy catfish.
What I would recommend you trying, is to use some kind of ultimatum, I know it could be hurtful, but for your safety and possibly him to move out this emotional prison(if he is not an old creepy dude/chick), you have to do it. Ask him to send you some pictures of him, old ones and recent ones. And a video of him talking to you if he does not feel comfortable talking directly to you. Try to make him understand that physique is not that important to you(if you mean it), tell him you just want to see him because you want to put a face on the person you like/love. And if he refuses. Then honestly, you should put an end to this relationship because he’s probably some creepy old dude or chick.
That will be it for today, stay safe, keep us informed.