Relying on Him

December 1st, 2016by brxken._.lxcks

I know its a horrible thing to always rely on someone or something, because one day I know I’m going to lose it. Like I am in an online relationship, I don’t know whether or not to think of online relationships, REAL Relationships. I mean like him and I have been together for 6 months now I believe, and we used to text each other basically everyday. At first, I had no interest in him because I thought he was going to be like every man-whore that texted me. But after 2 months I started to really like him. Then something had happened where my phone was taken because of illegal shit, but with that I had lost all connection from him. One day I had gotten my hands on something that I ended up finding him. He had thought I broke up with him. So he had pretty much been hurt (as he told me which i don’t believe) but I told him the situation. He said it was okay, and we went back to normal, talking everyday, I have to message him on my school computer because I still don’t have my phone (in which is kinda illegal if my parents or my school find out). But since we talked everyday, I felt like someone actually cares for me. But I had messaged him this morning and he hasn’t answered all day, and with my depression and anxiety, I have been thinking of things he must be doing while we are “dating”. I always think he is cheating on me with someone else, or that he doesn’t take me and our relationship as real, and when he tells me what happens I always take that as his excuse for something better than being with me. Like right now, I just took some pills to try and forget about him for a little while. I love the sensation of being all jittery. It’s just later on I’m probably not going to remember what I did after taking it.

Processing your request, Please wait....