sick and tired. thats what i am. stupid me for breaking down at school and telling the school guidance counsellor about my plans to kill myself. right back to the psych ward is where she took me. i cant believe i cracked, i wish i didnt. now im here against my will for who knows how long. im so angry. so angry and tired of people making my hospitalisation for wanting to kill myself about them. “dont you think about your impact” yes, of course i do. but do i care? i dont. im so numb and sick of people telling me it gets better when it doesnt. it hasnt. for me at least. its getting worse. people are getting fed up with me being in and out of the psych ward, as if i have a choice. just let me die in peace. these people dont get what its like to wake up every day and hate yourself so much, to have this urge to die as badly as i do. and dont tell me suicide is such a selfish option for myself. im giving up, and practising fucking mindfulness isnt going to save me this time doctor, sorry. I just cant wait until i have the chance to kill myself, because theres no fucking way that i want to be another one of those suicide survivors.
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3 comments
That sucks! I can relate I want to talk to someone close to me and tell them as it’s so lonely not having anyone properly to talk about it. If I did I would also prob end up back on the psych ward and they said anymore attempts I will be sectioned so I know I cannot mess this up.
YES, You have to be careful what you say to people. If you mention suicide to certain people YES they will send you to a trip to the Psych ward.
and if you end up in there too many times you can wind up permanently committed.
SO you have to play it cool and not talk about suicide to people
that is why this forum is a good place.. because you can talk about it on here and do it anonymously. and that is a good thing. If you talk to people in your everyday life
they will call the paddy wagon to come and stick you in a psyhc ward
I have been in psych wards about 9 times…. and it sucks
I have had several suicide attempts and live through all of them and my family has
gone through a mess off a time with all of this. I feel very bad for what I have put them through
but I just really do not want to live.
1 time I came very close to death and wound up in a coma for 2 days after an attmpt.
I wish I had just passed away but my mom busted in on me and had the cops come and the paramedics and all of that.
It really sucks to have a failed suicide attempt. Because for one > its embarrassing. Its embarrasing if you try to end your life but you dont succeed and other people find out about it.
Also your family goes through a mess of a time. also then you wind up in a psych ward and they make you take pills for a long time and visits to the psych doctor and it all just sucks
it has happened to me several times and it sucks that I have not suceeded
Well there is a part of me that want to still do it. but I am nervous about another failed attempt
because of what my family keeps going through with all of this
so if I do it > i need to make sure I do it right
Also if a person keeps having suicide attmpts there is a point where you can wind up committed to a hospital and that is not fun… because most of your privileges will be taken away and you have to live like a zombi in a psych hospital or some group home somewhere under surveillance
so well suicide attempts can be serious. and talking about it is not good
In life you either have to go do it. Or you have to shutup about it and carry on in life
talking about it only winds you up in a psych ward and its not fun
i have not attempted suicide yet, but i really want to. the drugs they have me on make me feel nothing. i have emotions except for feeling suicidal. the only thing keeping me alive right now is knowing that i dont have sufficient time/resources for my plans to be successful. which sucks, because i dont want to attempt something if i know that i wont end up being sucessful