Hello, I’m 18 and I was recently hospitalized at an impatient facility before my 18th birthday for a suicide attempt. The facility I was at was really comfortable and I made great connections there. I kinda rushed out of it because Christmas was in a few days and i felt a lot of pressure to be home for the holidays (and I was a little homesick). I’m thinking of going back, but now that I’m 18 I would be in the adult ward and I’m afraid of what that’s like. Im in a really dark place right now and I came to this site with suicidal intent but after reading a few posts I’ve eventually calmed down. My mood feels so temporary, I’m never really okay, I’m just distracting myself from my thoughts and feelings. I know it will get bad again and I just want to prepare myself for when it does. So I was wondering if anyone had any advice with hospitalization or any experiences with it, and how to move forward afterwards. Thank you for listening and I hope everyone well
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Hi Mavoureen, it’s good to hear that you’ve calmed down after coming on SP. I’m the same age as you are and I can understand how uncertainty and fear can wrack our perception of what might be waiting for us as adults…
I’ve never been hospitalised so I can’t offer advice relevant to that, but do please get any help that you need. It can be difficult to express our real emotions and needs, but just because you have lived through 18 years on earth it doesn’t mean they’re any less valid and deserving of care and attention. x
Thank you for your reply, I wish you the best
hey there, i recently got dischared from an inpatient facility after spending 8 weeks there. i was there during Christmas and new years too, with only being able to see my parents for one hour a day and no one else. i was there for the same reason as you. at first i was voluntary and then my status switched to involuntary as things got worse. the place where i was was actually quite nice. it was relatively new and all the staff was super kind and helpful. as much as being hospitalised sucks, i can honestly say my stay was pretty good all things considered. for me, i wasnt happy at all being there, but after some medication tweaks and quite a few emotional breakdowns, i can honestly say its helped. when your in such a dark place like that, talking to people who actually care about you because they feel compassion and not because its your job feels pretty good. i always felt taken care of there. i dont know if your experience was negative or not, but if you think its the best thing for you, i would recommend going back. its boring as hell, and theres too many rules to count, but from my experience i would say its worth it. sometimes you need that around the clock support when your feeling crappy.
as for being 18, i am currently 17 so i was in the adolescent unit. however, there were a number of 18 year olds who were there with me. they said when they were admitted, because they were 18, they could choose whether they stayed in the adolescent unit or the adult one, space permitting of course. i dont know what the policies are in your hospital, but thats how they were in mine. i would recommend inquiring if they can do that for you.
i know it can be scary at first, but the people who work in the mental health industry all have their own reasons to. they either know someone, have been affected by it, or just feel strongly about mental health. the staff who work in these units i find the most compassionate and understanding because many of them understand what your going through. its not like your talking to a wall. they actually truly care about you and dont just see you as “another patient” like they do on medical floors sometimes. i mean i cant speak for everyone, but after spending 8 weeks in hospital, ive gotten to really know how the system works.
i wish you all the best, take care <3
I’ll definitely look into seeing if I can stay at the adolescent unit that would help with a lot of anxiety about going back. I didn’t know that so thank you! I did go to the facility willingly but towards the end it was really stressful not being able to leave when I wanted and it’s really scary feeling trapped places. When you were discharged did you feel like you were ready? And if you were discharged earlier than 8 weeks do you think it would’nt have been as helpful?
It is stressful being trapped places but it is for our own safety so as annoying as it is, it is for a reason. I was actually discharged after three weeks and then like two days later I got reamitted for five weeks because I tried to kill myself again and got caught. When they discharged me the first time I felt ready but I also felt pressured to leave because lots of people wait for beds and they don’t like keeping patients too long. When I was in there for five weeks I felt ready and they listened to me about when I wanted to leave and when I felt ready and when I didn’t. For me I just need to take things slow, that’s what helps me control my anxiety and depression. So by slowing down my discharge date it made things a lot better for me. If I was pushed out too soon I don’t think it would have been helpful. While in hospital I also found a lot of things out about myself and my illnesses as we met with doctors every day. Not only that, but I have trouble sleeping, so while in hospital I was able to try literally every sleeping pill until I found one that worked for me. For two of them I even had reactions too so it was good being in a controlled environment where they could monitor it. I mean the hospital does suck, but it has helped me. I mean I’m not “cured” or anything and I’m still very suicidal, but it’s helped me learn how to cope with my feelings, find medication that works, and how to control my suicidal urges… At least to some degree. As I said, I still feel like shit, but the hospital has really helped me try and get back on my feet
I really liked staying in the hospital.
I’ve been there twice.
I only stayeda week each time.
It was better then being at home.
I met my fiancé there and we are frequently suicidal.
It’s hard.
I don’t want to do it anymore.
I also don’t want to go to the hospital.
It’s a choice I need to make now either I stay and keep fighting or I go and save myself from further suffering.
I’m diagnosed with a personality disorder that makes me crazy and I want to cry.
Dying is the default mode.
The time to go back into the darkness will come soon enough I’m sure.
I’m really sorry you feel that way. I often feel crazy when i get suicidal and depressed and I end up ruining things that matter to me. But at the time they don’t matter because nothing matters when you’re in that dark hole of depression. I understand how you feel and I hope you can find a way to dig yourself out of the dark abyss you’re in right now. I’m rooting for you
I’m not trying to discourage you from doing what you feel would work best for you, but I I feel that a person should know about potential consequences of something they are considering.
I’ve been hospitalized a couple of times and the hospitals themselves weren’t too bad. A couple of things happened that shouldn’t, but I was okay there.
Since I don’t know where you live, I don’t know to what extent these things will apply:
I’m unaware of any way to be admitted voluntarily. Every experience I have had and seen indicates the only way in is through involuntary admission, unless it is some sort of follow-up program after the initial admission. It is not unusual here in the United States for the staff to tell a patient they must agree to voluntary admission or they will be involuntarily admitted. This doesn’t happen to everyone, but when it does I fail to see how being coerced and behind locked doors could be considered voluntary. I wish I had investigated what this would do to my ability to buy life insurance, apply for certain jobs, maintain my Constitutional rights, etc. Again, this varies depending on the circumstances and where a person lives, but I wish I had considered these things beforehand instead of finding out about them afterward. It’s possible that admission as a youth makes all of this irrelevant, and it’s possible that adult admission is looked at differently. I don’t know.
I admitted myself voluntarily but once i was in the facility I couldn’t leave whenever I wanted, mostly because they didn’t deem me safe. But that could be different if you’re an adult. I’m not sure what you mean about the consequences of being admitted. Hospitals can’t give out information about you being in the hospital, your information is always confidential so I don’t think it can affect you with getting a job or buying life insurance, etc. Did you have an experience where it did and your rights felt violated?
Well I know having been adjudicated, at least as an adult, forfeits one’s Second Amendment rights. I don’t know to what extent things like military service or getting a pilot’s license are affected, if they are completely out of the question or it depends on the individual’s circumstances. I know from personal experience that it can cause problems getting life insurance affordably, if at all (life insurance situations vary widely). I have also observed that the federal government, and some state governments, have been pushing to expand restrictions on people with any sort of mental illness diagnosis.
This isn’t meant to be advice on what you personally should choose to do; it depends on your circumstances.