January 11th, 2017by MyCalamity
I was told by a good friend that life is a gift from God, and we needed to treasure it, and be thankful. I’m not sure I believe that.
For me, life is a tomb I cannot escape. It tortures me, and I take its punishments. Everyday, I think of suicide. Sometimes I am able to rationalize that I’m just insane, and I just need to play it out. Other times it is so hard to bear life, that I have to kill my thoughts through unconventional means.
However, most of the time, I am able to see through the garbage in my head, and see it how it really is. I deserve this life, this pain. Everything I’ve done has lead to this moment, and I deserve every ounce of pain I receive. For what I can tell, there is no God, for if he really did love us all and forgave the unforgivable, than I wouldn’t be suffering would I? Or maybe there is one, one that is punishing me for my dastly deeds. Either way, out clear to me that have to endure this pain, because that’s the point of my existence.