I was told by a good friend that life is a gift from God, and we needed to treasure it, and be thankful. I’m not sure I believe that.
For me, life is a tomb I cannot escape. It tortures me, and I take its punishments. Everyday, I think of suicide. Sometimes I am able to rationalize that I’m just insane, and I just need to play it out. Other times it is so hard to bear life, that I have to kill my thoughts through unconventional means.
However, most of the time, I am able to see through the garbage in my head, and see it how it really is. I deserve this life, this pain. Everything I’ve done has lead to this moment, and I deserve every ounce of pain I receive. For what I can tell, there is no God, for if he really did love us all and forgave the unforgivable, than I wouldn’t be suffering would I? Or maybe there is one, one that is punishing me for my dastly deeds. Either way, out clear to me that have to endure this pain, because that’s the point of my existence.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
4 comments
cheer up, life is just a blick of an eye. everythings gonna past. the pain, the darkness, the light, shitty genes. last station is the equality. one more second…everything is equal, endless justice through the end of the universe. and how can blick of an eye a bad thing ? sure it cant be a gift too, but not a disaster either.
Every time anyone mentions a ‘god’ I always wonder how people in our day and age could still believe in these Bronze Age silly myths and fairy tales.
Nearly 100% of people have no trouble accepting the statement that Zeus/Thor/Poseidon are not real, but as soon as anyone mentions the Christian or Muslim god, suddenly these beings magically come to life (only in their own minds). Yet there is no more evidence for Jehovah or Allah than there is for Thor…I chalk it up to delusion and brainwashing, just like for people who still think the Earth is flat.
Once you accept the idea there is no god then all of the other excuses fall apart. You’ll realize that life is not a gift, just an event that you had no control over-it’s simply that two people had sex, so there you are, along with the rest of us.
So no you don’t deserve to suffer-there was no grand design that put you there. If you did bad things and were punished for it, then you paid your dues. I know of many people who’ve done a lot of evil in the world and have gotten away with it. Conversely I’ve seen good people suffer for no reason-events are random and I believe we make our own fate ultimately.
Since you didn’t mention what you were suffering from, I could only advise you to see a doctor or a therapist to help you deal with it. Don’t convince yourself that you deserve to be in pain, also all pain should come to an end. Anyone that believes in eternal torture/suffering is extremely evil.
I don’t think there’s any point to your existence. Only what you make it.
I actually do believe in a Creator of life. So I guess I do believe in God. But I do not believe everything that religions teach about God. I tried to live the Christian life for some years. Some of it I believe in. Like they say > no no kill anybody, do not lie, do not steal, do not be rude to people, do not gossip about people, do not be conceited, do not entertain lust, do not be arrogant or rude, do not use profane language, and obviously things like rape or incest and violence and so forth are obviously WRONG. So I do believe in God and in trying to live by principals of goodness. BUT. do not believe everything that these religions teach. Like Christianity teaches that if you have a need that you can PRAY and God will hear from heaven and give you what you desire in life. I really do not see that is true in life. Because when I pray for things in life.. they do not just come into my life. It seems if you need something in life you really need to Work and make money and then buy what you need. Or you need to borrow it or aquire what you need in some other good way… but not steal.
Also I have met people who have spent all kinds of money in lfe going to college to study theology.. that is the study of God. But I do not see where that benefits a person in life.
You meet these people and they have all these theologies about God ad doctrines and sit aroubd arguing stances on certain ideas about God. But what Good comes from it all. Its all a waste of time and energy. What good does theology do for your life? your better off to go to college to learn some trade that can help you make money in life.
Because I do not see any God bringing money into a persons life.. jsut because they prayed
so for me YES, I do believe in God and for me it all boils down to adhering to principals of goodness in your daily life. Being a trustworthy person, honest, kind, compassionate, abiding by the laws of the land and staying away from things that are destructive to you like Drugs, excessive use of acohol, porn, gambling and other vices that can hinder your life
so I am a believer in God… but I am not religious. FOr me its just be a good person and do something positive with your life and then the forces of Goodness will work with you and for you.
But if you are mean and hateful toward people, if you steal or break the laws of the land then you can wind up i a heap of trouble.
But again I stay away from being involved deeply in religion… because they always want to suck you in and take your money and tell you what you can do and what you cant do and they want to control your life. They want to tell you > you cant have sex unless your married and I dont believe that. They want to say that people who are gay are evil and I dont believe that.
They want to say that if you married you cannot ever get a divorce but I dont believe that
So some of the principals that Christianity teaches I believe in. Other parts of it I do not believe in. I dont not believe it is some big SIN against God for me to have sex with my girlfriend just because we are not married. But religious people tell you that.
I dont need that stupid shit in my life. Now on the gay thing. I do believe the gay lifestyle is an alternative. But I do not like that relgions teach the being gay is evil and they oppress gay people and I do not want to be a part of that. If I have a neighbor that is gay. that is his business and I wont ever tell him he is evil or sinful because of it. If that is his life style that is his business and so long as he is a good person in life… I have no problem with what he may do with his romantic life or sex life. SO I do not like that religions try to OPPRESS people with all these rules about what you can do with your romantic life or sex life. Some religious people hate gay people and I do not like to be a part of anything that teaches hatred towards others just because they may be different in their sexuality.
I do believe that God can forgive us when we do something bad. But we are still stuck dealing with people who often will not forgive us. Also if we do something bad we often have to pay certain consequences in life because of it. Like if a person gets caught stealing… they might wind up in Jail or prison and that is just the way it goes. YES but I tried it many times and found it to be NOT TRUE
in fact I do not believe that prayer is the solution for lifes issues
thought, making plans, and taking action is what gets things done
prayer is basically useless activity most of the time in my opinion
so I do not waste time in prayer meetings anymore
it just does not solve my issues that way.
I use a more logical way to handle situations..
anyway I wish you the best in life
be a good person and do something positive with your life an you have nothing to worry about
all these religious people who say that if you dont join their religion that you will go to hell
its a bunch of bullshit.