Does anyone else feel happier and happier after you’ve found a method you think will work. It’s like “Now I can get through anything because I have suicide as a choice. If today is the last straw, then I don’t have to worry about having to live through tomorrow”. I was wondering if this makes any sense and/or if any of you have felt this way?
9 comments
Not for me. Is that how you feel now?
Kind of. But then, no in the same way. I’ll have to probably wait until after my birthday in 7 months. The thought of having to live for another 7 months just depresses me so much. I don’t know if I can do it.
I get what you’re saying. I thought I had found a method of ending it, but through some circumstances I lost that method, and now I feel as lost as ever.
Yeah!! After my 1st failed attempt, i was completely disappointed. Really!?! I can actually fail at this too. Geez.
Now i’ve leveled up and combined 2 ways to ctb. Gone baby!!
Haha. I can relate to “Really!?! I can actually fail at this too. Geez” sooo much. Here I am, 3 time attempt survivor. Uggh. If I fail this time (sometime within the next 9 months) with a gun, somebody up there wants me to stay. But even then, I’d probably still try again.
Why is it so hard to kill this thing we call our body?
Yes! That’s why I’m skipping classes!! I’m not afraid anymore. I totally get what you are talking about.
Yes, I understand exactly how you feel 100%, and sometimes it’s the only thing that brings me any peace.
This makes me think of a documentary I watched on Kurt Cobain. Kurt was talking about how happy he was not long before his suicide. A psychiatrist on the program said something like “When a normally depressed person starts acting happy, watch out! That usually means they are close to ending their life.” Something along those lines. It made sense. Seems like he had come to terms with suicide.