Post-analysis: I’m sorry for anyone who reads through this.. it’s an utter bullshit and compared to other really serious posts here it seems out of place..but it might help me pick myself up again and i can’t just post this on facebook can I
Hi there, me again with my bullshit (and my bad english). It’s always the same deal with me. Time to time I feel like I’m slowly decomposing from the inside and it’s always in the worst time possible. Right now I’m in my most difficult year on Uni, studying mechanical engineering. I’m 23 y.o, have loving family and some friends from uni. What is y0ur problem then you might ask, you have everything you could’ve ever hoped for. Well for me it is and always has been the same thing and that is my struggle with girls. I’ve never had a girlfriend (yes, I’m a virgin) even though I tried (and got burned) a couple of times. Because my specialization is technical I’m spending a lot of time at school and even though we have got an entire building (different faculty) full of attractive girls, I can see them only through the windows. We have 3 girls in total in our year(and all of them are out of the question). My friend recommended me (even though as a joke only) tinder and badoo so I made my accounts there. It didn’t take a long time and i got plenty of matches, I guess I’m an average looking, kind of skinny guy with not great hair (also started to go to the gym to work on my self-esteem). I’ve got to say I’m not expecting much out of these “dating apps” but still tried to work something out with it. It seems it’s hard to get someone to talk to you and when you do they usually decline the date and even when they don’t, when they find out that i have almost zero experience it’s like an instant turnoff (it’s like REALLY embarrassing but i’m not hiding it when they ask, it would be even more embarrassing if they would find out themselves and to start off on a lie isn’t a great thing imho). There has been two times I’ve been out with someone from tinder and only one of those would I even consider a date (it went really well imho). We even started to plan a second one but suddenly she didn’t answer. So I left it (i won’t beg anyone for a date, they either want or don’t want) and now I’m at the beginning again and getting kind of frustrated. I think it won’t really work for me at all. I’m starting to see a lot of couples everywhere I look on the streets. My friend at school is always bitching to me about how he can’t find a girlfriend.. but he gets his every month from someone else. That’s maybe irritating me more than anything. What the fuck am I doing wrong, what does he have that i don’t, do i need to work out more, should i be more direct, should i take it slower, should i just give it up and let it eat me? I should definitely focus on the school but I can’t. It always ends up with me wandering why am I such a loser at my age and thinking about what I did wrong again that she didn’t respond.
It’s like in that song from Prozak (million miles) <Living in these dark times, it’s hard to stop these dark rhymes. It seems that we have lost before we’ve even crossed the start line>
PS: you might think I’m too picky.. I really don’t know if I am.. I am doing sports or going to the gym my whole life.. I would like a girlfriend that takes care of herself, that isn’t fat.. I even tried the opposite and it really didn’t work out
2 comments
This will certainly not be the conventional advice but I will tell you: If it is legal in your country, find some escort and have sex with them. In the US, they even have what they call GFE: girlfriend experience. It will help you get rid of a weight.
When we lack something, we tend to assign too much value to it.
Sex can be fun, enjoyable and very transiently fulfilling but it is not worth all that mental energy.
All those couples that you see are not as happy as you think they are.
Also, I think people on tinder just want to have sex one and done style. Planning dates and all that, you’re trying too hard.
Visit this website:
thematinggrounds.com
It is not pickup artistry. It is a scientific approach to relationships (of whatever length and depth) with women. It is informative and entertaining.
Listen to the podcast on there called ‘Helping Joe’. It is about them helping an average, somewhat neurotic guy with women. You mention Tinder and Badoo; one of the first things they do is teach him to use Tinder effectively to get lots of dates. Then they teach him what to do on dates. They also make him start coed social activities in his spare time, a great way to meet women.
They basically teach you how to become an attractive man.
Nothing will substitute for real-life experience, so this only works if you try it out for yourself.
Another thing I would recommend is to thoroughly analyze your past history with women and everything and try to figure out what you did wrong and should change, in other words: learning from experience. That’s pretty much how science works, and science gave us aeroplanes.
But you’re an engineering student, why am I telling you this?
Don’t apologise for yourself. It’s okay to be different from others. It’s okay to be a virgin. I lost my virginity at 20, and even though I would have preferred to have had many sexual experiences in my teens, the whole ‘losing’ it thing is much less of a deal than you imagine. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the excitement of everything being new, or maybe lose it with someone I was really crazy about (mine was a one-night stand).
Anyways, best of luck mate, I’m rooting for you.