I dont know man.

I know I said I was going to do it, and hey! I might have. But she found out. And took the pills and my razor blades, and then last week i sat in a bathroom stall and tried to make myself slit my wrists open. The new razor blades are insanely sharp and definitely capable of doing the job, and i got scared. I dont know why im so terrified of death yet i want it to be over so badly. Im so overwhelmed. I dont feel anything. I dont see my future anymore. And every other thought is some sort of awful ideation. What do i do? How do i make it okay? How do I solve this?