Who else here, has had so many mental disorders since childhood, that you never really developed an actual personality? You don’t have one, because you never even had a chance at one. Having just a a strange slew of symptoms. Personality? you don’t have one only having a strange slew of never ending symptoms that make your head spin and turn. They say healing things like depression that the goal is to “get back to your old self”, but I don’t have anything to go back to. Just static nothingness.
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Sometimes I think I should win an award for the roles I play. If I were to be the “me” that is the quintessential me, I don’t know what would happen.
I have more than one fixed “me”
Yeah, I feel the same. I suspect that if you were to scrub away the depression, scrub away the crazy, and scrub away all of the other bullshit in search of who I really am, there’d be nothing underneath. No “me” left. I’m not an actual person, I’m just layers and layers of dysfunction arranged in the shape of one, and I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember.
I know that I have an amazing personality but my personality disorders definitely doesn’t let it shine. I don’t feel like I’m the real me to anybody… and that’s scary.
I feel like my personality is like tofu. Tofu absorbs the flavors of whatever you cook with it. My personality takes on the characteristics of whoever I’m around. I’m not completely different, but very much influenced by those I’m around. I don’t have a strong sense of self.
I seem to be in the process of becoming who I will be. It is often times very uncomfortable to see what this stranger does and disconcerting to feel what he feels. I keep my m3+h0d handy and watch the developments uneasily.
My old self is just the person that developed into my current self, is that really a win? What’s that saying about insanity, same thing over and over and expecting different results?