I’d like someone to talk to around my age who isn’t going to laugh or shrug off any topic that isn’t small talk with some bullshit, a laugh or a ‘meme’ well to be honest I wouldn’t even mind that at this point I haven’t talked to anyone in a week I’ve been ill and haven’t even really left my bedroom in the last 5 days mostly because I don’t want to not because I can’t.
I’ve never really been happy before but recently I just can’t even seem to be mildly content by anything that happens I find myself losing track of time as I sit and stare blankly at any random thing I have important exams coming up but I can’t bring myself to care about them in the slightest.
I have absolutely no one in my life that cares and why should they? I’m just a waste of space anyway it would definitely have been better if I had never been born but oh well I’ve done my damage now and I can’t take that back however much I might want to
But yeah I might worthless but I don’t think I’m an asshole so if anyone would like to talk
Also sorry about the random jumps and changes of the subject in this post I can see that it might be annoying but it’s just how it came out
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Hey. I’m 20, I hope that is close enough. Welcome to the site. I’d give you a tour but, you kinda already see it all when you first opened the page..
I know what you mean about being lonely. I don’t have any friends and can go an entire day (excluding work calls) without saying a single word. I don’t have anyone to talk to and even if I did, I’m too awkward at socializing anyways.
You can talk to me anytime okay? ‘My email is devinbelver@yahoo.com and my Kik is devinx7 🙂
Yeah I’ve read my fair share of posts already I think this site is very helpful in a weird way the anonymity of a public post to a crowd that is most likely on the site for many of the same reasons you are allows for a lot more honesty than most other places
I’ll make a kik and add you sometime in the near future
Thank you
You’re a lot younger than me. I’m 24, but I feel the same way, and did even back when I was 17. It’s kind of shitty to me how the seriously mentally ill are cast aside like there’s no hope and they’re just a pain in the ass and nobody wants to listen anymore. I’m pretty fucked up at this age. Pretty much a lost cause. Brain’s pretty wrecked from about 6+ years of dealing with schizophrenia. Depression’s hell.. but left unchecked it can eventually morph.. into something even inconceivably worse. I think many end up taking their lives before that happens.. or they find some way to cope, or manage, or whatever.. don’t really know. Haven’t figured it out. But dude.. let me just say one thing, it’s probably not you. It’s the world. I’ve seen a lot, learned a lot. This world is unimaginably fucked up.. seriously.. Sometimes I’m eloquent with my words and sometimes I’m not.. Right now I’m not.. You have to conform to a sort of mediocre, mind-numbing, spiritually deprived existence of slavery, in order to get along in this “world”. If you’re highly sensitive, highly intelligent, highly empathetic/emotional/compassionate, anything along those lines, this world’s gonna be a huge disappointment and slap in your face, and that’s really an understatement. Mental illness will only naturally follow, and worsen over time unless you figure something out. I figured if I had at least one person who gave a single serious shit out of me, I could manage, even with the hell that is my mind, ripping me apart, literally. My illness is basically terminal, but somehow I feel like if I just had one person who genuinely gave a shit, it might not be so bad. Love is a hard thing to come by in this world. It’s what it lacks, honestly, not to sound like a fucking hippie or something. I’m not, by far. But look around and you’ll see just how cruel and dull the world is. Mental illness doesn’t seem so bizarre when you take it all in, and taking it all in could very well make you go mad. Made me go mad…
I have a friend that has suffered with schizophrenia, CFS. depression and an entourage of other mental illnesses for a long time he has talked to me about the what schizophrenia has done to him and still does to him to this day so I have an idea of how awful it is and all I can say is I’m so sorry that you have to put up with that shit on top of everything else life throws at you. Yeah you’re right no one wants to listen to mentally ill people I feel like we are more a source of confusion and worry rather than a pain I’m the ass as we are just alien to most people, something they either can’t or won’t understand and so push to the side because we are not the norm and therefore we are undesirable to be around.
Society is run on a disgusting system that is beyond fucked I am aware it’s terrible. I am not claiming to have seen half of the shit you’ve seen but I know the world indeed is awful I still somewhat naively hold out hope of finding some good in it though but I’ll probably drown beneath the cesspool of shit before that happens.
Recently I have been trying so hard to figure something spending so long trying to plug up the holes on the sinking ship that is my state of mind that I didn’t even realise that ship was burning and now well I’ve all but given up. I am prepared to just sit back and watch it all burn then sink because I simply cannot bring myself to give a single fuck.
But about finding that one person that is still a hope that you should NEVER give up on I mean we both know it’s damn unlikely but I’ve seen it happen recently and it’s fucking beautiful it’s worth holding out for even if you’re destroyed, mad or ripped apart if that person comes along all of it will fall away I can promise you that.
hey, i’m sixteen. i feel a very similar way. lately i’ve been just searching for reasons not to give it all up. i want to do well in school but i know i’m losing a handle on my grades because my life feels like it’s crumbling away from me most of the time. the fact that no one cares about me half as much as i care about them constantly hits me in waves, it’s truly relentless. i’m trying to heal from an awful relationship a year ago… and everyone else i’ve been with after that has taken advantage of me. i feel that my life force has already been taken away from me.. and i don’t know how to get it back. sixteen feels kinda young to lose every piece of who you are 🙁
It doesn’t matter how young you are, if you feel that way then don’t excuse it or hide it from yourself because that’s what I was doing a year ago (at 16) and it just hurt me more. I know precisely how you feel I was the same but like I said I just lied to myself so the feeling kept building up and then it all came crashing down in a massive wave destroying my grades most of my friendships amongst other things and shaped me into who I am today.
It’s hard to really know how much a person cares for you, it’s subjective and from your point of view some people who you think don’t give a shit actually might. However, in my experience of people most of the time they don’t give a shit and are just seeking to push their agenda which has made me very paranoid when people seem to be not reciprocating in a friendship. But still I’d say try and talk to the people important to you about that, if they’re worth your while they will listen.
As for your relationship I obviously have no clue whats happened but I know bad relationships can be scarring and I’m sorry for whatever you had to go through. You might wanna take some time out from getting into any? At least until you get over/move on from the happenings in the last relationship so that you’re ready for a fresh start with someone you trust. I know those feelings, I want to say something that might be helpful but truthfully I’m still trying to figure out how to deal with them myself.
You sound like you’ve experienced very similar situations to me so if you want to talk anymore let me know
i suppose logically i know that some people at least give a half a shit about whether i’m alive or dead. it just doesn’t feel that way a lot of the time, and because of people’s actions in the past i’ve also started to become afraid of being used. it’s just so difficult to talk to people, because i’m frightened of what everyone could do to me because of how often people have abused my trust… you know?
i tried a few relationships since but they all either crashed and burned or just fizzled out. i don’t feel like it was due to my actions, but maybe subliminally i did something wrong in each one… i feel like i keep coming at people with good intentions and they always meet me with bad ones. it’s harrowing.
i’d love to talk more with you, if that can help in any way. do you have a preferred chat medium?
It’s really late where I am so this is probably going to be a bit of a ramble.
‘i suppose logically i know that some people at least give a half a shit about whether i’m alive or dead. it just doesn’t feel that way a lot of the time,’
The perfect summary of my feelings towards my parents and 2 of my friends lol
Like I said I feel like you’ve got some wounds that still need to heal before you can get into an actual emotionally fulfilling and healthy relationship (you might be pushing the other person in the relationship away because you are scared it might end up like the last one?) and although I do think getting into a relationship could maybe help with the issues it would need to be with a very good kind and understanding person and those are seldom found in this shithole.
Yeah sadly most people have an agenda to push and its more often than not; a negative one that’s going to further their own aims no matter how it affects the people around them…
Yeah that would be great I mean idk but kik seems to be the thing that everyone uses on here so my kik username is Wallulu
I only gave a few ppl tht care abt me I think like 2 and yes I’m down to talk about whatever is bothering you my email is phoenixmendez@outlook.com
I’m almost 16, will be 17 in less than a month. I feelt a lot like that about a year ago, but some things have gotten better. I am up to talk if you still need someone to talk to. I would appreciate having someone to talk to as well. If you’re up for it just reply to my comment, and just tell me which social media platform you would prefer to talk on.
Alright 🙂
It seems that everyone on here uses kik so my username on there is Wallulu add me anytime you want to talk.
I’m 18 and I’ve been through the same shit and still is. I actually can’t do anything because I’m stuck in my mind, because I feel like I don’t belong. And it’s getting so hard to fall back again, you get close to the darkness a little bit more everytime. But you know happiness a little bit more before that too. I don’t know what to say to you, because I have no hope, because I can’t get out of this, I’m so stuck with the hate that I have for myself. It always comes down to this. But maybe it will get better, I hope that it will for you, I don’t know you but I’m sure that you don’t deserve this.