I used to go on here a lot when I was at a dark time in my life. And thanks to all of you guys, ilysm, I got through it. I moved on. Or so I thought. It turns out that when you’ve been at the lowest point in life, and when you’ve stayed there for a long time, the sadness doesn’t ever really leave you. It fades, you forget about it, and you think that you’ve moved past it. I was able to smile again, and even when things got bad, I managed to pick myself up and keep going without falling back into the pit where I used to put myself. But every now and then when things go bad, and its late at night and the rest of the world is sleeping, I find myself back on here. Because it’s a part of me. A part of me that never truly left. And I don’t think I’ll ever outrun the suicidal part of me. I just have to suppress it. I guess some people can just never truly move on.
To be honest, I think that’s okay. I like being a part of this community. I wouldn’t trade it in for another life.