another stupid post only made to waste your time

Do you ever want to kill yourself just because you’re so horribly ashamed of who you are?

I don’t hate my life, I don’t even feel sorry for myself, I simply hate myself . I’m so worthless and I feel guilty just for being alive because I know that I’m annoying and difficult to deal with and everyone would be better off without me. I just want to disappear so people don’t have to look at me anymore. I’m such a waste of space, I should be fucking dead by now. I also believe everyone wants me to be dead too. I don’t want to be anyone’s daughter, granddaughter, a friend or even a citizen. I want to cease to exist and I really hope I’m going to be forgotten when I do . If I could, I would erase myself from everyone’s memory.

Everyday is a bad day because I’m still myself, still the same horrible person, still the same annoying piece of shit and a worthless failure who just wastes everyone’s time. Sometimes I get confused if I actually want to die or if I just want to be a different person. I guess it doesn’t really matter because I can’t be a different person anyway. And becoming someone else would be like a metaphore for killing myself (as in killing my real self) so that’s basically the same thing. The same thing except you don’t get to enjoy all the good sides of life when you’re actually physically dead but the good sides are not for me anyway . I don’t enjoy anything and I’m starting to think the good parts are just an illusion or a lie. Oh wait, and I don’t deserve any of it.

I will be trapped in this flesh prison until I die.