Literally everything feels meaningless doing it just by myself. Reading a good joke, because I immediately think about telling it to someone only to realize that there is no one that would care. Cooking, because there’s no one there to enjoy the meal apart from myself, and I’d survive on frozen pizza and cereal anyway. Going to the park, because there’s no one there to tell how pretty the trees look and the ducks quack. Going jogging, because there’s no one who I could moan to about how exhausted I am. Going to uni to get a degree, because I’d survive on a retail job just as well. Riding a train, because there’s no one who constantly whines “How much longer”. Watching a movie, because there’s no one there to gossip about how unrealistic the story-line and special effects were. Relaxing on the couch, because there’s no one who I can lay my arm round. Being happy, because what’s the point if I can’t share it with anyone.
Why couldn’t I have grown up a lonesome life and never met anyone so that I would never be conditioned to give a shit about these things in the first place? Life would be so much easier if we were asocial creatures. Instead, I keep craving these things, and it keeps me from functioning like a regular human being because they are so far out of reach.
17 comments
Just a word of advice from someone who has likely been living like that longer than you: find someone to live with. It needn’t be a romantic partner, a flatmate or roommate is fine.
But don’t make the mistake I did and live in loneliness for years and years. It’s detrimental to your health. But I also find myself becoming bitter and weird and socially dysfunctional, when I used to consider myself a pretty normal guy.
Don’t be me.
I like my one-man apartment… and I am not really willing to give up the peace I get from being able to detach from the world for as long as I want to without having to worry about anyone interfering with that. Living with other people that I am not 100% comfortable with (and I’ve only ever met one person that would qualify as that, my ex) for longer periods of time makes me restless and uneasy, and takes away the little bit of comfort and peace that I have left in my life.
I’ve been socially dysfunctional for as long as I can remember, so I guess there’s not much left to lose 😛 I used to try to fit in with the cool guys back in high school, because I desperately wanted myself to be normal, but it was always a wasted effort. I found peace when I accepted that I am not normal and stopped pursuing something that was never right for me.
Fair enough.
Wow, I am a rude idiot, sorry. I appreciate your advice, thanks for taking the time to reply 🙂
I agree entirely that loneliness is bad for your health, it’s just that I currently don’t see a way for myself to get out of it.
Dude, you don’t wanna know the things I wrote today. That was rude. I just felt like you were stating your opinion, perfectly fine.
Oh, I saw 😀 and man, I couldn’t have agreed with you more. It’s not the first time he posted bullshit like that.
Sound advice muspelhem, i could have wrote exactly the same thing.
@Clair- same here. I was perfectly content being a loner most of my life- was never lonely. Then in my late 20s, I found the love of my life- (and then lost him)- and life has never been the same since. If I never found what “love” was, then I suppose I’d never miss it. But now… now… I’m in shambles. :'(
I know what you mean 🙁 it’s only been 3 months since the breakup in my case, but my life has been such a mess ever since. I sometimes think that it would’ve been better if I had never gotten to know her, but then I hate myself for thinking that because we had such a blissful time together, and because I still love her way too much. If you were in the same situation again of getting to know him back then, with what you know today, would you pursue a relationship again?
well, if i knew back then what I know now…I would’ve never let him go. I would’ve opened up to him and told him more of my life and how I felt about him. I would’ve tried my hardest not to have screwed it up.
*throws a pillow at ClairDeLune*
Don’t ever settle for anything less than what you deserve just because you’re lonely. That’s how one gets stuck in a relationship like mine. This relationship is what will eventually end up killing me if I ever just let everything go.
You deserve someone who gives you space when you need it… But there when you need them.
*tackles you into the blanket fort*
Thanks 🙂 I honestly don’t know about the whole settling-thing though, it’s always kind of struck me as weird. Everyone deserves a perfect partner, but everyone is also imperfect, so there’s always settling involved, no matter who you end up with. I hate comparing partners for how much they can bring to the table, because then I feel like I am entering the relationship for my own personal gain rather than for mere love. Agh, I sound like a hopeless romantic.
1st world problems = extremely boring.
No one gives a shit.
” The girls at the pillow party failed to completely disrobe”.
No one cares that your fantasy didn’t materialize.
Try walking in my shoes for a year you piece of shit.
Morris’ primary problem is that he acts like an asshole with no sense of social propriety, then he disappears and doesn’t apologise. Class Act. 🙂
Calm yer tits, Morris. Calm em. Calm em the eff down.
I might be little but I’m like Rey Mysterio so lol *pillow to the back of Morris’ neck*
@ClairDeLune: I understand what you’re saying, and that’s part of the reason why I’m basically addicted to work and such now. It keeps me from thinking about being alone.