And what makes you think that generalization is any different from men denigrating women as succubi? Men don’t ruin lives; the stupid ruin each other’s lives.
Sometimes, people have bad experiences, and then they noticed a pattern, and that’s where the generalization comes in. The same happens to men to as well. Just easier to avoid. The exception does not outweigh the general rule.
@wanttodie2 Yes, truly evil subhumans do exist, as do gentle and kind souls. I see *perpetrators* and *victims*, not exploitable data to justify a point. And to what end? generalisations only further divide and erode human cohesion. They ignore the complexity and take us away from the open dialogue needed for reform and support for the victims. It’s easy to lose sight of the issue when pushing an agenda, one then only perpetuates the ‘us vs. them’ mentality while failing to provide any real solution. Arguably, such behaviours are an example of the “evil” one is so against.
Not blaming him entirely but he drove me to insanity, he’s honestly destroyed me. He encouraged me to commit what I did. He tried to encourage me to do much worse. I’m a naive idiot that doesn’t think until its too late.
I really am a naive idiot. I’ve let people walk all over me my entire life, especially him. Heck, I never even noticed I was being used until years after.
I can’t function not knowing what’s going to happen next. I believe the worst. I’m going to be sent down.
If that doesn’t happen, I’ll still lose my family. Never been close to them but I live with them and my mum has brought me up to be dependant. They’ll hate me.
I’ve stopped eating, washing etc, I just don’t want to be here.
The only reason I’ve not tried suicide is because I’m scared of failing it.
Sometime we grow up and little or a lot co-dependent. It’s not a crime. It’s not a seriously bad thing to be. It’s just another mental framework that sometimes gets in the way of living life to its fullest.
Narcissists look for people like that. Unfortunately, a little narcissism goes a long way towards damaging others. A full blow narcissist is usually a psychopath or a sociopath. I suggest looking up “Gaslighting” in Wikipedia. Chances are you were preyed upon. You aren’t wrong or defective because this happened to you.
Right now you are probably in a severe triggered state. Your ability to make sense of things and keep things in proportion has been severely damaged by that guy. You need someone objective to talk to ASAP. If you don’t have a good support network I suggest looking up a domestic abuse hotline in your area and talking to them.
Whatever happens don’t talk to the police without a lawyer present. You make feel emotionally compelled to admit fault and guilt. Don’t.
I, myself, have been in situations like this. Usually, after I am out of crisis mode, things are much less catastrophic than I thought they were. I hope things will be better for you.
I’ve literally got nobody. Never been close to family and he made me lose all my friends. I used to be really chatty online but the last 6 years, I’ve honestly only spoken to him. This is the first time I’ve actually opened up to somebody that isn’t him.
I do have a support worker. She visited when the police did but now I feel like I have nobody. I’m just trapped with my never ending thoughts.
I honestly can’t chat on the phone, I can’t even explain why. I don’t know what else to do. I went to my gp last July and been referred for multiple assessments of whom have rejected me due to them being a 12 week therapy program and I need long term help. Currently waiting on an appointment to be assessed by a psychiatrist.
I feel really immature due to being dependent. I don’t understand how police work. I just know they take forever and I’ve had no good experiences.
The police were asking me questions and I told them it was all me. Which is true in the way that I committed the crime they were there for. But why did I do it? He told me to. I’m such an idiot. I was crying hysterically the entire time and was so scared and still am.
I don’t know what’s going to happen. My summer is now a waste due to worry. When I eventually find out, whatever the outcome, it won’t be good.
Yes, it *probably* won’t be good. But there is survivable not-good and there is soul crushing not-good. Let’s hope this is the survivable kind.
Yes, you got sucked into some crazy sh*t. It’s doesn’t mean you are immature or stupid or wrong. You were manipulated. It happens. You will learn from this and be a better person because of it.
If the police talked to you and thy didn’t immediately cart you off to jail then it means something else is going on. Most policeman aren’t deep thinkers, but there always are a few that can see things more clearly. Being manipulated and coerced into doing something illegal happens to women all the time. They may be considering that.
Hold on for the psych appointment. I wish I could offer you some other help.
17 comments
You poor thing. What happened?
What happened?
It’s a very long and detailed story that began 7 years ago. 🙁
I can relate. My story starts 7 years ago as well.
Men are life ruiners. Avoid them. Avoid them. Avoid them, though maybe you did break the law, but don’t know.
And what makes you think that generalization is any different from men denigrating women as succubi? Men don’t ruin lives; the stupid ruin each other’s lives.
Sometimes, people have bad experiences, and then they noticed a pattern, and that’s where the generalization comes in. The same happens to men to as well. Just easier to avoid. The exception does not outweigh the general rule.
It’s honestly a 50/50 shot.
Well, how many women rape men? And how many men rape women? It’s mathematics, sorry. Men can do much more evil things. Period.
@wanttodie2 Yes, truly evil subhumans do exist, as do gentle and kind souls. I see *perpetrators* and *victims*, not exploitable data to justify a point. And to what end? generalisations only further divide and erode human cohesion. They ignore the complexity and take us away from the open dialogue needed for reform and support for the victims. It’s easy to lose sight of the issue when pushing an agenda, one then only perpetuates the ‘us vs. them’ mentality while failing to provide any real solution. Arguably, such behaviours are an example of the “evil” one is so against.
Agreed.
I agree.
… And I sort of have.
Not blaming him entirely but he drove me to insanity, he’s honestly destroyed me. He encouraged me to commit what I did. He tried to encourage me to do much worse. I’m a naive idiot that doesn’t think until its too late.
You’re not a naive idiot. You’ve been through rough times. Sometimes the mind is in shock and doesn’t realise what’s happening until its too late.
I really am a naive idiot. I’ve let people walk all over me my entire life, especially him. Heck, I never even noticed I was being used until years after.
I can’t function not knowing what’s going to happen next. I believe the worst. I’m going to be sent down.
If that doesn’t happen, I’ll still lose my family. Never been close to them but I live with them and my mum has brought me up to be dependant. They’ll hate me.
I’ve stopped eating, washing etc, I just don’t want to be here.
The only reason I’ve not tried suicide is because I’m scared of failing it.
Sometime we grow up and little or a lot co-dependent. It’s not a crime. It’s not a seriously bad thing to be. It’s just another mental framework that sometimes gets in the way of living life to its fullest.
Narcissists look for people like that. Unfortunately, a little narcissism goes a long way towards damaging others. A full blow narcissist is usually a psychopath or a sociopath. I suggest looking up “Gaslighting” in Wikipedia. Chances are you were preyed upon. You aren’t wrong or defective because this happened to you.
Right now you are probably in a severe triggered state. Your ability to make sense of things and keep things in proportion has been severely damaged by that guy. You need someone objective to talk to ASAP. If you don’t have a good support network I suggest looking up a domestic abuse hotline in your area and talking to them.
Whatever happens don’t talk to the police without a lawyer present. You make feel emotionally compelled to admit fault and guilt. Don’t.
I, myself, have been in situations like this. Usually, after I am out of crisis mode, things are much less catastrophic than I thought they were. I hope things will be better for you.
I’ve literally got nobody. Never been close to family and he made me lose all my friends. I used to be really chatty online but the last 6 years, I’ve honestly only spoken to him. This is the first time I’ve actually opened up to somebody that isn’t him.
I do have a support worker. She visited when the police did but now I feel like I have nobody. I’m just trapped with my never ending thoughts.
I honestly can’t chat on the phone, I can’t even explain why. I don’t know what else to do. I went to my gp last July and been referred for multiple assessments of whom have rejected me due to them being a 12 week therapy program and I need long term help. Currently waiting on an appointment to be assessed by a psychiatrist.
I feel really immature due to being dependent. I don’t understand how police work. I just know they take forever and I’ve had no good experiences.
The police were asking me questions and I told them it was all me. Which is true in the way that I committed the crime they were there for. But why did I do it? He told me to. I’m such an idiot. I was crying hysterically the entire time and was so scared and still am.
I don’t know what’s going to happen. My summer is now a waste due to worry. When I eventually find out, whatever the outcome, it won’t be good.
Yes, it *probably* won’t be good. But there is survivable not-good and there is soul crushing not-good. Let’s hope this is the survivable kind.
Yes, you got sucked into some crazy sh*t. It’s doesn’t mean you are immature or stupid or wrong. You were manipulated. It happens. You will learn from this and be a better person because of it.
If the police talked to you and thy didn’t immediately cart you off to jail then it means something else is going on. Most policeman aren’t deep thinkers, but there always are a few that can see things more clearly. Being manipulated and coerced into doing something illegal happens to women all the time. They may be considering that.
Hold on for the psych appointment. I wish I could offer you some other help.