fuxk the i am from poems

my teacher the other week made me write an i am from poem.. i hated it, but now i feel like i can write a real one, who reflects who i actually am

i am from everlasting irrational fears about the most unrealistic situations

i am from sleepless nights thinking about the unanswerable questions and feeling scared to dream

i am from a good home, yet i still have problems,

which is something my foster sister will never understand

i am from being made fun of because of my race,

something that i had no control over

i am from jumbled thoughts that never seem to cease

i am from rainy days that are the only thing that seem to bring me joy

i am from feeling no hope about my future,

hoping that the end of the world will come before i have to grow up

i am from fucked up feelings about what’s going on around me,

and a longing heart to be accepted for who i am

i am from people who were scared of me because i spoke of death and decay

i am from believing there is no one good on this earth

i am from a woman who i’ve never met,

who gave me up when i was born, yet i feel utter respect towards her

i am from wishing i was never born,

so i would’ve never had to experience this hell called life

i am from days where i feel completely lost in direction to thinking i know exactly what is in store for me

i am from lost cries for help and senseless pleas

i am from hating just about everything about myself and days where i just want to end it all

i am from blaring music in my ears that when i take out my earbuds i can hear a distant ringing

i am from trying to look for the best in every situation to giving up and always assuming the worst

i don’t know how to end it so im just going to leave it there, sorry that the poem is so long, i was just trying to get out my thoughts