i’ve deleted my social media and isolated myself from most physically, the only presence i have is on here. i have my death planned out, all i need is to go to the hardware store not too far from my house. but i can’t seem to get out of bed and do that, the thought of actually dying feels surreal to me, the fact that i can finally escape the pain. anyway, i’d appreciate a chat but i also don’t want to bother anyone.
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It’s not a bother, what would you like to chat about?
anything i suppose. preferably not my own problems for once.
I get you, well let me write about my weekend then. I lounged about until my friends dragged me out of the room and we played rockband. Then we went to a friends birthday party where we got her an 6 ft inflatable penis and a dildo as a gag. I didn’t have fun but going out helped a bit. Then the next day i hung out with a friend i havent seen for weeks and we smoked.
sounds more eventful than any of my weekends. do you have any illnesses or anything like that? if you don’t mind me asking, that is.
It was eventful. Not a problem, I am suicidal and severly depressed, ive attenpted multiple suicides over the past six years with them either failing outright or me being too scared of a painful death and taking that final step
are you going to continue to attempt death or is there something keeping you going now? don’t want to ask too many questions i’m just curious.
I can’t say for sure, i want to die and be able to rest but i also don’t want to die painfully and honestly the only thing that helps me battle depression is pot and an online game that i play. After my last attempt, i tried talking to my parents but im realizing how much they can’t understand me from the way they talk to me and it makes me want to die more.
my parents don’t understand either and i don’t think they really care. i try to distract myself from games and it sometimes helps. i’ve tried weed and it took the edge off but my anxiety went through the roof when i met up with the guy to get it. as for games, what do you play?
I can get why anxiety goes up but since i usually picked up with a friend it was better and now im never anxious when i pick up. Some games help and other games do nothing for me. I play kingdom hearts but mostly the game i play daily is called smite
i’ve heard of both but haven’t played either. i’ve thought of using drugs as an escape but i just want to die so i guess nothing truly helps.
Well anytime you want to talk I’ll try my best to be there. If you want a better way to reach me email me on nemesiswonton@gmail.com.
thanks dude, much appreciated.
If you want to talk, I’m here.
might just take up that offer.
would you like to email me?
can i get your email? i’m not too sure about putting mine out there for everyone to see.
yes of course. abysmalthoughts12@gmail.com
thanks. i inboxed you.
If u wanna talk u can email me
juliana88oli@gmail.com
Story of my life. To be fair, I’ve only disconnected on social media part but I’m doing the best I can to take my foot forward and move on. I’ve recently exercised and hang out again with people I’ve recently met. I’m not totally there yet but it’s doing wonders for me. In fact, people have noticed how I’ve “bloomed” once again and how outgoing I’ve become. So what’s your story anyway? What happened to you and why are you adamant in going out of bed? I’m really curious. It seems people like us here in this site share similar stories no matter what part of the globe we come from. I’ve noticed that depressed people often have people oppressing them or being unable to fight back from the people that hurt them and that our unmet desire for revenge either puts us down or makes our desire to take matters into our own hands (oftentimes resulting in anger and murder).