Hello fellow viewers, just an update on how I’m feeling again. I feel like I’ve always been like this sad depressed boy. It’s been years of mostly as a kid or younger from what I am now when I tried suicide, mostly because of the torment I’ve been through with brothers that beat me to relieve their stress, a family with no mother and father only father or mother. But back then I knew it was all just a joke but I wonder if it really was and that’s just how I’d feel later on in life. Growing up only 2 main friends till I was 12, my cousins that understood me. It feels like I want to say something but I can’t cause I’m too caught up in what other think, like my brothers If I said something stupid I’d just get punched or pushed to the floor, nothing that I couldn’t handle though. Now I feel numb to emotions and as if my mouth was stitched so I couldn’t say anything. Main reason my name has thoughts because I’m not strong enough to speak. I only feel safe online where I don’t care who I talk to. No one can judge me because it’s not real. Bye I guess I might post later like some other day, just my thoughts for today.