Yeah.. I uh.. I have started drinking beer. 4% of alcohol, but it still counts. I know. I f*cked up really badly. So badly that my only true friend threatens me that she’ll abandon me, just like that, if I don’t stop. I somehow find a way to f*ck up everything I can.. I just wish I f*cking killed myself when I had the chance to.. I just don’t want this life anymore.. I am only alive right now, because if I killed myself, my only true friend would too. Only because of that. No other reason. If it wasn’t for her I’d be dead by now. But now she’s telling me she’ll abandon me if I don’t stop doing something that helps me. Well f*ck everything. I know I’m only 14 years old and that I shouldn’t drink but who the f*ck cares anyways. Now I just want to get drunk, take all the sleeping pills I have, and just fall asleep. And never wake up.