Empty Promises

I believe in God. I believe because one day when I needed him most he was there for me in a way that I could recognize. Even after many years I still remember.

I have also had to learn through experience that his ways are different from my own. He sees the end from the beginning, a unique and perfect point of view, a vantage point we do not share. He also respects greatly the agency (or ability to choose) of his children. It is important to note that even when we do everything right others have agency, also sometimes what we think is the most desirable outcome is not (or is undesirable), and seeing this from his vantage point God kindly doesn’t give us what we think would help us.

There are times when I am distant from God as well, and prayers feel as though they go unanswered. During such times I usually find that if I truly look deep within I am not living a life congruent with his teachings. I’ll find that I’ve lapsed in my study of his word, or I am not praying in a “thy will be done” sort of way, but rather trying to impose my feeble mortal will. He is always there, but we can not always hear due to an unrepentant state.

I have also noticed that where strong emotions are involved it can be difficult to separate God’s will from my own.

I do not judge you. Nor do I know if any of the above is applicable or helpful, I can only speak from my own experience as an imperfect Christian believer. If it doesn’t help just forget I was here.

Good luck! I know it hurts.