The worst year

You got a bacteria infection as a child, so that is cleared? And everything with that is solved? That is a relief. And to add to this your parents treat your sisters a lot better than you? Your dad abuses your mom and recreational drugs aren’t keeping you happy? How many times have you been to psychiatrist? Sending you to a stranger helped a lot im sure while they drain your resources and prescribe you poison pills. I’m older, I’m 23. My parents are also not good people as yours seem to not be the kindest or sincerest, I knew life would always be difficult with them. I did have a master plan to build a cabin in woods probably on other side of America but parents want to keep me here and insult me all the time letting me know I am not good enough to leave them and tell me everyone else thinks that too. So I chain smoke to die quicker. It is the only active suicidal thing I do, thinking smoking is a lift up from just wishing to die but having no way to (no weapon)

I’ve taken weed since 16.5 and it always worked for me. Then they take me to psychiatrist because I don’t like them/avoid them/ try to escape from them and giving me f*cking antipsychotics (don’t ever take antipsychotics by the way you will become numb zombie from dead hell and that is persistent for um, probably the rest of my life. And that was 2 years ago.) So now I never find joy in anything/ am uncomfortable in MY body/ feel everything I do for recreation or intellectual purposes is useless.. but mostly am uncomfortable. I was given this for “mood”
I was in the best mood of my life when prescribed now I am wrecked.
I guess it causes fibrosis of heart muscles??
I was then arrested and can’t smoke weed anymore or drive which was the only hobby that kept me on even kilter after the accident

then on another note, after actively doing things, I see the next day everything I was saying/studying featured in news with someone else doing the same thing! Drives me crazy when that happens.. I’m like “That’s exactly what I said! Are they some sort of can’t think for themselves type or starved for ideas???” Lmao. I’ll be listening la de da la de da newsroom just waiting for the one phrase I coined or the one idea I created to pop up and when they say it that it when I go DA-DING that’s all me where’s my credit. Any old talk show. Sometimes on universal news reports. Sometimes on television or motion pictures. Who knows when these things pop up. I sit and think and devise and plan and then someone else is like I had this idea….. and proceeds to repeat everything I worked very hard to come up with. It kills me! I die every time that happens! it’s hilarious!

Drunks are the worst type of parent. I’m sorry. They are always terrible to their children.