I don’t really know.. but I might finally be able to do it when this month ends. It’s been nearly 6 years. So very alone. So emasculated. Everything went wrong. No one fixed me. I truly with all my heart hope I will finally be able to end my life this month.
Nothing short of a miracle will save me. Of course, this is reality. No room for miracles.
I want to jump off a bridge. I’m always in pain. 6 years and it NEVER stops hurting. This life is truly without meaning. I can’t wait for when I am finally ready. I will never be whole ever again.
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Probably soon if I cannot escape my living situations. That’s been my problem my whole life. Making me extremely suicidal. In my case I would need to leave this side of the States or the country.
I keep saying to myself “I’m going to do it tomorrow” but then I think my method will fail. So I don’t. Or it’s too cold out.
I just reread this I feel the “can never be whole again”
I pray to god I won’t wake up tomorrow morning but I doubt he’s listening. So January!!
I wana die young and that is all I know
January
I’m trying my best to wait until January