Why do siblings deny they got treated better that the others? My sister and I got treated like crap, while my other sister and brother were treated like the two “golden” children. The “golden” child thinks there’s no issue, that we were all treated poorly. Yeah right. And that we think it’s just “favoritism.” Really? Telling 2 of your children they’re pieces of sh*t and that you wish they weren’t born, and telling your other two children how “precious” they are, goes well beyond “favoritism.”
People who get treated better *always* deny they get better treatment. Why is that? It’s not just with siblings. It’s with co-workers and bosses. It’s with teachers and students. It’s with customers and clients. People are *not* all treated the same. Yet those who get treated better almost always deny they got better treatment.
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Ego?
“How dare you imply I had it better than you when you don’t understand the suffering I experience!”
I think it’s easier for us to see the good things others have, when they dont, because they’re caught up in their own unique set of circumstances and may be blind to the good in their lives. In other words, it’s just human nature.
“I think it’s easier for us to see the good things others have, when they dont”
No, I don’t think you get it. My 2nd sister and I got treated like absolute dirt. But they loved the oldest and the boy. I wouldn’t say they had the best life, of course, the dysfunction permeates through, but they were never abused to the extent we were, and me especially, as I was the most hated and the blackest sheep of the family apparently (I gained that role at age 7).
Well, I get that the fact is you were treated worse, and I dont question that, but does your oldest sister and your brother get that? Like you say, they’re in denial, I’m offering that their egos need to believe THEY had it worse than you. I don’t know if that makes sense.
My sister thinks that just because she got beaten sometimes (for the short duration she was home) that that is exactly what we all got. She thinks that we all got it “just as bad as she did” and that we had it “equally bad.” And she turned out fine. So why can’t we just “get over it?”
No, some of us got beaten WAY more, and some of us got the nastiest things told to us (you were found in the garbage, etc). She was never told she was never wanted. She didn’t even get half the stuff we got. AND she was barely home so she experienced VERY little of the abuse.
It’s called lack of compassion and lack of empathy. If she didn’t experience it, then it didn’t exist.
In my imagination, I hear them saying “Oh, she thinks she had it bad, (referring to you) but let me tell you about bad!” because they need their particular brand of suffering to be worse than yours.
Idk, I’m just lying in bed, crying, wishing had I just been aborted, I wouldn’t have had to live an entire lifetime of pain and suffering. But alas, I am here where I am. No amount of wishing can undo your birth.
I suppose in the long run, this is what it comes down to – wishing for better circumstances or a past that was different. Sorry for what you’re dealing with. I don’t know. I’m not a parent, and I honestly have no idea why anyone wants to be one. I decided years back the best kindness I could do for any possible offspring is to not father them, because why pass on all of this insanity to someone else who just doesn’t need it? I know I’m in the minority with that mindset, but when, like you, I sit with my issues, it seems that I made the best possible choice.
Eternal Iam an old sper. Glad to see you alive. Haven’t been here. hope you don’t mind me giving you a hug and tell you that you deserve it. Please don’t cry.
thanks
You’re welcome.
@Once I have made that choice too. Iam in that minority with you. It doesn’t makes sense to me to pass on my sufferings to an innocent person who didn’t want to come here , in the first place .
Yes. I suppose the need to procreate is right up there with the will to live, and if that is so, then no surprise I’m (we’re ) on SP.