Just trying to live

  March 16th, 2018 by lostdamagedsoul

     So I’m trying to get better. I’m trying to fine the purpose of this life. Trying to understand what makes people want to live. But I don’t see it. We live in a world that is so ugly. Us as humans destroy everything we see, touch, and feel. We hurt others, and we hurt ourselves. Love is a rare thing to see. And so is happiness. I don’t get the point in living. I’m loosing hope in that things will get better. But there is something inside of me that tells me that things will get better. But there is a part of me that says that’s a lie. Things will never get better. The sun will rise and the moon will set, and everything will still be the same. I will still feel the same way. Think the same way. And wish to die in my sleep.

               The thing that has been running through my head the most lately is the fact is that why did we leave each other when we still love each other. We killed each other by saying goodbye. Why did we leave? Why? Just why? I can physically feel the pain. Right in my heart. I stil remember the way your heart beats when we layed next to each other. The way my heart felt full, complete. Everything felt fine. Everything felt right. All the problems of the world went flying away in your brown eyes. I always felt safe with him. And I still do even when I’m not with him. With just seeing him, I know I’m safe and that everything will be ok. Nothing reallly bad can happen. But when I a fell asleep in your arms and you in mine, I prayed to god to never wake up. I didn’t want to wake up and have to go home. I wanted that moment to last forever. I miss you. More that you know. The memories kill me. But what kills me more is that I still wonder what would have been of us if we stayed together.

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