You know what’s attractive about a self-sabotaging, incessantly angry, overly-formal asshole? Yeah, me neither. Looking back on my day, all I can see is me screwing up every single piece and part of my day. Not little fuck ups either. No, of course not. That would be forgivable and we all know I’m far beyond any kind of forgiveness. Instead, I not only ruined my day, but fucked up the lives of those around me. That’s right, folks! I’m a goddamn irredeemable piece of shit!
You know what’s funny? I can’t stand the thought of anyone loving or even liking me. It’s an absolutely abhorrent thought to me that someone would settle for me when there are better people out in the world. I’ve sabotaged several relationships because of this, and I’m sure it will continue. I suppose I don’t exactly feel like I need to worry about someone actually loving me, because I don’t think anyone will ever be able to feel love for such a self-sabotaging piece of dog shit. This is understandable, and I say this without jealousy or anger toward anyone. I’ve come to terms with myself as the piece of dog shit that I am, and I suppose I hope everyone comes to terms with this as well. Perhaps it is naivety that people will protect themselves from me. All the same, I will pursue this naivety.
Don’t tell me you love me. You don’t. No one does because no one can. (What makes you think you’re right, Kid? Who’s to say you’re not just being a narcissistic asshole control freak?)
I swear to god, I’m just one big conglomerate of unforgivable sins. I am fucking shit and I just want to be dead. Nothing is working anymore. I’m sure I’ll be gone soon enough, though, and I’ll stop being such a burden to everyone.
But hey, at least you’ll all get a good show the whole way to my death!!!